HOUSTON, TX – Texas Senator Ted Cruz has undergone a successful face transplant procedure at Houston Methodist Hospital, according to sources close to the republican lawmaker. “It was getting to the point […]
Ted Cruz receives face transplant
Ted Cruz’s bathroom mirror escapes to Cancún
HOUSTON, TX – According to sources close to the Texas senator, Ted Cruz’s bathroom mirror has removed itself from the wall and left the residence for good. “I’ve taken a lot of […]
Ted Cruz travels to Mexico for black market COVID-19 vaccines for uninsured TX residents
CANCUN, MEXICO – Texas Senator Ted Cruz has traveled to Cancun Mexico in order to secure a stockpile of black market COVID-19 vaccines to inoculate approximately 5 million uninsured Texans. “I couldn’t […]
Republican John Kasich to headline DNC Convention
MILWAUKEE, WI – The Democratic National Committee has announced that former Ohio Governor John Kasich will join prominent democrats to speak for presumptive nominee Joe Biden at the 2020 Democratic National Convention […]
Lawmakers Urge Inaction After Latest Mass Shooting
EL PASO, TX – Lawmakers across the nation have responded with increased calls for inaction following news that a lone gunman armed with an AK-47 killed at least 20 people and wounded […]
