WASHINGTON, DC – It’s less than a year into Joe Biden’s first term and democrats are already buzzing about who will be his successor should he not seek a second term. For […]
Democrats’ Dream Ticket is Kamala Harris and Pete Buttigieg
Buttigieg announces $160B plan to paint American streets with pride rainbows
WASHINGTON, DC – Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg has announced a $160 billion plan, part of the larger $1 trillion infrastructure bill, to paint every street in America with rainbows. “I can’t think […]
Biden announces #GiantPlatitude as inauguration theme
WASHINGTON, DC – The Biden Inaugural Committee has announced that the theme for the President-elect’s upcoming inauguration will be #GiantPlatitude. “Given the unprecedented crisis and deep divisions America is facing, we wanted […]
Transportation Secretary Buttigieg proposes high-speed model trains
WASHINGTON, DC – Secretary of Transportation-elect Pete Buttigieg has laid out an ambitious infrastructure plan that includes building thousands of high-speed model train sets in basements and recreation rooms across America. “When […]
BeetPress wishes this guy a fast and full recovery
WASHINGTON, DC – Upon learning of President Trump’s COVID-19 diagnosis, BeetPress would like to set partisanship aside and wish the man who cruelly mocked a physically disabled reporter on national television a […]
Elizabeth Warren to stand with George Floyd protesters in 2023
BOSTON, MA – According to sources close to the senator, Elizabeth Warren is planning to travel to Minneapolis to make a statement in solidarity with protesters following the May 25th, 2020 killing […]
DNC changes debate rules to allow surrogates to stand in for Joe Biden
WASHINGTON, DC – Ahead of the March 15th democratic primary debate, the Democratic National Committee has changed the debate rules to allow campaign surrogates to fill in for the candidates. “We understand […]
Democratic party mulls forfeiting presidential election
WASHINGTON, DC – Following a primary season in which the 29 candidates competing for the democratic party nomination have been pared down to two viable candidates – former vice president Joe Biden […]
Biden forgets where he put political platform
ST LOUIS, MO – While getting ready in his hotel room prior to a campaign event in St. Louis on Saturday, former vice president and democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden suddenly realized […]
Klobuchar, Biden, Warren, Bloomberg drop out in effort to stop Sanders
WASHINGTON, DC – A day after former South Bend mayor Pete Buttigieg ended his presidential campaign, and in an effort to consolidate support around moderate democratic candidates ahead of Super Tuesday, Minnesota […]
