SOUTH BEND, IN – For a candidate who was polling at a mere 8.4% six months ago, it’s hard to believe that South Bend, Indiana Mayor Pete Buttigieg is now, as claimed by cable news outlets, the democratic party frontrunner… Read More ›
Nate Silver
Nate Silver Spends Saturday Night Masturbating to Iowa Polls
NEW YORK, NY – Statistician and fivethirtyeight.com editor Nate Silver spent the bulk of Saturday evening masturbating to the latest DMR/Selzer polling data out of Iowa. “I had a date with some friends for drinks, but when data comes out… Read More ›
Nate Silver Undergoes Complete Statistectomy
NEW YORK, NY – According to sources, political analyst and editor-in-chief of fivethirtyeight.com Nate Silver underwent a complete statistectomy after the 2016 election. “Upon closer examination, we began to understand that Mr. Silver’s ability to use statistics and data to… Read More ›
Socialism Unpopular, According to Trump-Funded Poll
WASHINGTON, DC – According to a recent poll, socialism is unpopular, with fewer than two respondents having a favorable opinion of the left-wing ideology. The results of the Official Socialism Approval Poll, paid for by the Trump Make America Great… Read More ›
Student Loan Debt: Warren’s Brilliant Plan; Also How do you Pay for Sanders’ Plan?
WASHINGTON, DC – For millions of Americans, student loan debt is an impediment to success. Decades ago, a Bachelor’s degree was a ticket to future success; a Bachelor’s degree is now a requirement for most entry-level jobs. Democratic candidates have… Read More ›
Joe Biden Under Fire for Plagiarizing Sanders Campaign
WASHINGTON, DC – Former Vice President and presidential hopeful Joe Biden is in hot water following allegations that he has plagiarized Bernie Sanders’ campaign. At a recent rally in Alabama, Biden appeared before a crowd of dozens opening with a… Read More ›
De Blasio Looks at 2020 Candidate Field, Thinks ‘Yeah, I Should Run’
NEW YORK – Looking over a list of 23 democrats currently running for president, New York Mayor Bill de Blasio thought to himself, “Yeah, I should definitely run for president”. The mayor, who has a 36% approval rating in New… Read More ›
