WESTERVILLE, OH – CNN has confirmed that tonight’s fourth democratic debate at Otterbein University will be a total shit show rife with technical difficulties, protest interruptions, failed zingers, and generalized chaos on stage. According to moderator Anderson Cooper, “what viewers… Read More ›
LOS ANGELES, CA – The 2020 democratic presidential candidates have announced they will be launching their Fall 2019 comedy tour “Dems of Comedy” at the Laugh Factory on Friday, October 18th followed by a two-week roadshow with engagements in San… Read More ›
The 2020 election cycle is well underway, and many candidates have weighed in on a variety of topics. BeetPress will be visiting these topics to see where the candidates stand on the issues Americans care most about. For many Americans,… Read More ›
PHILADELPHIA, PA – During a recent campaign strategy meeting, presidential candidate and former vice president Joe Biden was surprised to find that he is still the frontrunner, leading in all national polls. “Aggregate data shows polling is up four point… Read More ›
NEW YORK, NY – Statistician and fivethirtyeight.com editor Nate Silver spent the bulk of Saturday evening masturbating to the latest DMR/Selzer polling data out of Iowa. “I had a date with some friends for drinks, but when data comes out… Read More ›
WASHINGTON, DC – The Democratic National Committee has announced the creation of a super-duper-delegate to deploy in the event second-ballot voting doesn’t select a nominee during a brokered convention. After calls for reform by progressives following the 2016 democratic primaries,… Read More ›
WASHINGTON, DC – According to sources close to the former vice president, Joe Biden has taken over John Delaney’s body in an effort to revive his flailing campaign for president. After a series of gaffes, memory lapses, and mixing up… Read More ›
