SOUTH BEND, IN – For a candidate who was polling at a mere 8.4% six months ago, it’s hard to believe that South Bend, Indiana Mayor Pete Buttigieg is now, as claimed by cable news outlets, the democratic party frontrunner… Read More ›
Hillary Clinton
Ellen Invites God Hates Fags People to Carve Pumpkins
LOS ANGELES, CA – Ellen DeGeneres, comedian and host of the Ellen DeGeneres Show, got into the holiday spirit this week by carving pumpkins with several of the God Hates Fags people. “I love Halloween, and I always love getting… Read More ›
DNC Creates Super-Duper Delegate, Just in Case
WASHINGTON, DC – The Democratic National Committee has announced the creation of a super-duper-delegate to deploy in the event second-ballot voting doesn’t select a nominee during a brokered convention. After calls for reform by progressives following the 2016 democratic primaries,… Read More ›
Political Activist Actually Just Sad, Bitter Little Man
NEW YORK, NY – For many political enthusiasts, having your favored candidate lose an election can be a difficult experience, but for Dan Week, Hillary Clinton’s 2016 loss against Donald Trump was personal. “I’ve been in love with Hillary ever… Read More ›
Susan Sarandon Most Powerful Person in America
LOS ANGELES, CA – When most people think about the most powerful and influential people in America, they often think of presidents, politicians, and captains of industry, but one person, actress Susan Sarandon, has risen to the top of global… Read More ›
Nate Silver Undergoes Complete Statistectomy
NEW YORK, NY – According to sources, political analyst and editor-in-chief of fivethirtyeight.com Nate Silver underwent a complete statistectomy after the 2016 election. “Upon closer examination, we began to understand that Mr. Silver’s ability to use statistics and data to… Read More ›
Epstein Dead, Bill Clinton Randomly Trends on Twitter
NEW YORK, NY – The nation awoke to the shocking news that Billionaire financier Jeffrey Epstein had died, another life tragically taken by suicide. Epstein, 66, was awaiting trial at the Metropolitan Correctional Center in Manhattan on federal charges of… Read More ›
