WASHINGTON, DC – In what Biden aides are referring to as an ill-timed event, Joe Biden was found in his bathrobe Saturday, giving his campaign speech to a group of surprised onlookers at a bus stop. “Thanks so much for… Read More ›
Election 2020
Elizabeth Warren Campaign Struggling to Keep up with Copying Sanders
BOSTON, MA – According to sources, Elizabeth Warren has been struggling to keep up with copying Senator Bernie Sanders’ campaign platform as the 2020 democratic primary intensifies. Campaign staff, recognizing Warren’s refusal to endorse Sanders’ insurgent 2016 campaign with the… Read More ›
Bill Maher Aroused Seeing Stock Market Plunge
LOS ANGELES, CA – Upon seeing the Dow Jones Industrial Average tumble by over 600 points on Thursday, Bill Maher, Comedian and host of HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher, reportedly became physically aroused. “Oh man, look at those numbers… Read More ›
Nate Silver Undergoes Complete Statistectomy
NEW YORK, NY – According to sources, political analyst and editor-in-chief of fivethirtyeight.com Nate Silver underwent a complete statistectomy after the 2016 election. “Upon closer examination, we began to understand that Mr. Silver’s ability to use statistics and data to… Read More ›
Advisors Urge Biden Not to Talk Until After Super Tuesday
PHILADELPHIA, PA – After a series of gaffes over the last few weeks, key advisors to former Vice President Joe Biden have suggested the candidate not talk until after the “Super Tuesday” democratic primaries on March 3, 2020. The advice… Read More ›
Voters Want to Know: Who’s Eating What at the Iowa State Fair?
DES MOINES, IA – Every four years, presidential candidates flock to the Iowa State Fair to connect with voters, pose for photo ops, and to sample some of the many varieties of (generally unhealthy) food that the fair offers, and… Read More ›
Nation Briefly Feels Bad for Delaney Before Remembering He’s a Multimillionaire
WASHINGTON, DC – Following an abysmal performance in the last round of democratic debates and a series of embarrassing tweets, Americans felt a brief sense of pathos toward the flailing democratic candidate John Delaney before remembering he’s worth over 200… Read More ›
