WASHINGTON, DC – Vice President Mike Pence spent the weekend putting together a myriad of anti-gay proposals in the event that President Donald Trump is impeached. According to Pence, the first thing to go will be gay marriage, with the… Read More ›
Donald Trump
Breaking: Beginning of the End for Trump
WASHINGTON, DC – With the latest news coming out of Washington, sources confirm this is the beginning of the end of President Donald Trump. “The walls are definitely closing in,” commented MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow, who added, “as I’ve said before,… Read More ›
Liberals Harken Back to Halcyon Obama Days When There Were No Problems
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Nearly three years into Trump’s presidency, liberals across America are longing for the days of yore, when Barack Obama was president, and the biggest concern facing most people was getting a brunch table at a trendy… Read More ›
Trump Warns Ohio to Prepare for Hurricane Dorian
WASHINGTON, DC – President Donald Trump tweeted out to the residents of Ohio to hunker down and be prepared for the arrival of Hurricane Dorian later this week. At a press conference, Trump reiterated his concern for Ohio. “This is… Read More ›
DoD to Allow Trump One Nuke Against Dorian
ARLINGTON, VA – The Department of Defense has reportedly allowed President Donald Trump the use of one nuclear weapon against Hurricane Dorian, a controversial move intended to satiate the President and get the idea out of his system. “I got… Read More ›
DNC Planning to Nominate Reanimated Hubert Humphrey for 2020 Run
WASHINGTON, DC – With the party struggling to find a standard bearer to represent democrats in the presidential race against Donald Trump in 2020, party insiders are floating the idea of elevating Hubert Humphrey to the nomination, BeetPress has learned…. Read More ›
Political Activist Actually Just Sad, Bitter Little Man
NEW YORK, NY – For many political enthusiasts, having your favored candidate lose an election can be a difficult experience, but for Dan Week, Hillary Clinton’s 2016 loss against Donald Trump was personal. “I’ve been in love with Hillary ever… Read More ›
