EL PASO, TX – Two months after suspending his campaign for President of the United States, former congressman Beto O’Rourke was recently spotted working at an El Paso-area Hot Topic store. “I […]
Beto O’Rourke Now Working at Hot Topic
John Delaney’s Renewed Optimism for 2020 Campaign
BETHESDA, MD – With just over a month until the first votes are cast in the 2020 democratic primaries, the John Delaney is as optimistic as ever, confident that his presidential campaign […]
Biden to Youth: Voting is Lame
DES MOINES, IA – At a Presidential Youth Forum held at Roosevelt High School in Des Moines, former Vice President Joe Biden addressed a crowd of approximately 600 high school seniors, college […]
December Debate to Feature Jell-O Wrestling
LOS ANGELES, CA – In a bid to inject a bit more excitement into the proceedings, Politico has announced that the December democratic debate to be held at Loyola Marymount University on […]
Pete Buttigieg Finishes Strong 2nd in Buttigieg Family Thanksgiving Straw Poll
SOUTH BEND, IN – Continuing a family tradition, the Buttigieg family participated in an informal democratic primary straw poll Thursday after completing Thanksgiving dinner. “We’re all fairly politically active in my family,” […]
Deval Patrick? Whatever, Yeah, Sure
BOSTON, MA – Former Massachusetts governor Deval Patrick has officially announced that he is joining the crowded field of Democrats seeking the nomination for President of the United States for some odd […]
DNA Test Proves Sanders not Salvadoran
BURLINGTON, VT – Senator Bernie Sanders is running damage control after a DNA test disproved his long-held claim that he’s of Salvadoran descent. Sanders agreed to take the DNA test, provided by […]
Dems Seeking Middle Aged Queer Black Woman to Run for President
WASHINGTON, DC – In an effort to not alienate voters, the democratic party has chosen a queer black middle-aged woman to seek the nomination for president. With such a diverse selection of […]
Joe Biden Surprised to Find He’s Still Frontrunner
PHILADELPHIA, PA – During a recent campaign strategy meeting, presidential candidate and former vice president Joe Biden was surprised to find that he is still the frontrunner, leading in all national polls. […]
Warren Enters Rehab After Grabbing Drinks with 4000 Supporters
BOSTON, MA – Democratic presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren has entered an inpatient rehabilitation facility to receive treatment for alcoholism after grabbing drinks with over 4000 supporters, sources close to the campaign have […]
