BURLINGTON, VT – Senator Bernie Sanders is running damage control after a DNA test disproved his long-held claim that he’s of Salvadoran descent. Sanders agreed to take the DNA test, provided by biotech company 23andMe, after President Donald Trump repeatedly… Read More ›
WASHINGTON, DC – In an effort to not alienate voters, the democratic party has chosen a queer black middle-aged woman to seek the nomination for president. With such a diverse selection of candidates, voters are faced with a unique challenge…. Read More ›
PHILADELPHIA, PA – During a recent campaign strategy meeting, presidential candidate and former vice president Joe Biden was surprised to find that he is still the frontrunner, leading in all national polls. “Aggregate data shows polling is up four point… Read More ›
BOSTON, MA – Democratic presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren has entered an inpatient rehabilitation facility to receive treatment for alcoholism after grabbing drinks with over 4000 supporters, sources close to the campaign have confirmed. Warren voluntarily checked into the Serenity at… Read More ›
WASHINGTON, DC – The Democratic National Committee has announced the creation of a super-duper-delegate to deploy in the event second-ballot voting doesn’t select a nominee during a brokered convention. After calls for reform by progressives following the 2016 democratic primaries,… Read More ›
WASHINGTON, DC – According to sources close to the former vice president, Joe Biden has taken over John Delaney’s body in an effort to revive his flailing campaign for president. After a series of gaffes, memory lapses, and mixing up… Read More ›
EL PASO, TX – Democratic presidential candidate Beto O’Rourke has delivered an expletive-laden plea for campaign donations, sources confirm. “I’ve been traveling from coast to motherfucking coast meeting voters like you who are worried about the future of our kickass… Read More ›
