WASHINGTON, DC – Stan Doolittle was hired by the DNC last fall. It is his job every morning to scan the news looking for new candidates to add to official DNC lists and to update the 2020 Democratic Primary Wikipedia… Read More ›
Democratic Primary
De Blasio Looks at 2020 Candidate Field, Thinks ‘Yeah, I Should Run’
NEW YORK – Looking over a list of 23 democrats currently running for president, New York Mayor Bill de Blasio thought to himself, “Yeah, I should definitely run for president”. The mayor, who has a 36% approval rating in New… Read More ›
Frustrated Dems Launch ‘Draft Tim Kaine’ Movement
WASHINGTON, DC – Citing a lack of viable candidates in the 2020 democratic presidential race, disillusioned democrats have coalesced around senator and former vice presidential candidate Tim Kaine. Although he has not formally announced his candidacy, pressure is mounting for… Read More ›
Bennet, Ryan, Swalwell, Moulton, and Inslee Combine into Super-Mediocre Hybrid Candidate
WASHINGTON, DC – In an effort to lessen the number of democratic presidential hopefuls and streamline the democratic primary debates, a super-mediocre hybrid candidate has been created by combining Michael Bennet, Tim Ryan, Eric Swalwell, Seth Moulton, and Jay Inslee…. Read More ›
HUGE! Latest Poll of Jill Biden Shows Overwhelming Support for Joe Biden
ATLANTA – Former Vice President and democratic presidential hopeful Joe Biden is continuing his meteoric rise through a crowded field of candidates, leaving him head and shoulders above the rest of the Democratic candidates according to a new poll from… Read More ›
Bernie Sanders Under Fire for “How to Dupe the Public” Book Sales
Presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders is under fire for reporting that he is now a millionaire due to royalties from his book How to Dupe the Public (by Pretending to Give a Sh*t About Their Problems). Ahead of releasing his tax… Read More ›
DNC to Democrats: Opt-out or You’re Running for President
WASHINGTON, DC – In a memo released to democrats Monday morning, the Democratic National Committee is requiring that democrats opt-out, otherwise they’ll be automatically entered into the 2020 democratic primary race. “The very core of the Democratic Party is at… Read More ›
