WASHINGTON, DC – Upon learning of President Trump’s COVID-19 diagnosis, BeetPress would like to set partisanship aside and wish the man who cruelly mocked a physically disabled reporter on national television a […]
LAKE CHARLES, LA – The National Weather Service has postponed Hurricane Laura, citing a recent rise in Covid-19 cases in Southern Louisiana and the Houston Metropolitan Area. Experts fear that evacuating citizens […]
MINNEAPOLIS, MN – Minnesota Governor Tim Walz has released a public statement reminding protesters to maintain a safe social distance while firebombing police stations. “While I appreciate protestors voicing their concerns over […]
SEATTLE, WA – An invasive species of giant hornet Vespa mandarinia, known colloquially as the murder hornet, is expected to become the biggest news story of 2020, according to experts. “When you […]
WILMINGTON, DE – Former vice president and presidential candidate Joe Biden reportedly escaped from home confinement on Wednesday, and was discovered violating personal space at a local Food Lion supermarket, according to […]
WASHINGTON, DC – An an effort to rejuvenate the struggling American economy and jump start the financial markets, the United States Senate has passed a $2 trillion stimulus package that includes a […]
NEW YORK, NY – The Dow Jones Industrial Average surged over 2,000 points on Tuesday after prominent republicans floated the idea of ending stay-at-home orders and returning to normal economic activity, a […]
BOSTON, MA – As daily life in the United States grinds to a halt amid the COVID-19 pandemic, voters are looking to presidential candidate Vermin Supreme for leadership and to get a […]
UNITED STATES – A study conducted during the first four weeks of 2020 has found the national mood is at an all time high, with Americans experiencing a profound sense of hope […]
WASHINGTON, DC – In the wake of the COVID-19 epidemic, experts have issued a statement imploring Americans to avoid St Patrick’s Day social gatherings on Tuesday and to get drunk and vomit […]
Sweetie Darling Podcast