LOS ANGELES, CA – In a bid to inject a bit more excitement into the proceedings, Politico has announced that the December democratic debate to be held at Loyola Marymount University on […]
December Debate to Feature Jell-O Wrestling
Deval Patrick? Whatever, Yeah, Sure
BOSTON, MA – Former Massachusetts governor Deval Patrick has officially announced that he is joining the crowded field of Democrats seeking the nomination for President of the United States for some odd […]
Candidates on the Issues: The McRib
The 2020 election cycle is well underway, and many candidates have weighed in on a variety of topics. BeetPress will be visiting these topics to see where the candidates stand on the […]
DNC Creates Super-Duper Delegate, Just in Case
WASHINGTON, DC – The Democratic National Committee has announced the creation of a super-duper-delegate to deploy in the event second-ballot voting doesn’t select a nominee during a brokered convention. After calls for […]
Voters Want to Know: Who’s Eating What at the Iowa State Fair?
DES MOINES, IA – Every four years, presidential candidates flock to the Iowa State Fair to connect with voters, pose for photo ops, and to sample some of the many varieties of […]
Several Democratic Candidates Rescued from Iowa State Fair Ferris Wheel
DES MOINES, IA – Tragedy struck the Iowa State Fair on Friday as a several democratic presidential candidates were injured as a malfunctioning Ferris Wheel jolted to a stop, stranding them several […]
Baltimore Rats Form Political Action Committee to Impeach Donald Trump
BALTIMORE, MD – Outraged by the president’s recent remarks, the RCB (Rodent Committee of Baltimore) has formed the political action committee Rat PAC to impeach Donald Trump. “My clients are mammals just […]
Dem Debates: All Candidates Awarded Participation Trophies
MIAMI, FL – The first set of democratic primary debates of the 2020 election season is over, and all the candidates debated their best and were presented participation trophies by moderators Chuck […]
