WASHINGTON, DC – Touting it as a victory for working class Americans, the Biden administration has announced an increase of the federal minimum wage from $7.25 to $15 to be phased in […]
Biden announces 100-year phase-in of $15 minimum wage
Barron Trump forgotten at White House
WASHINGTON, DC – Barron Trump was reportedly left at the White House as former President Trump and his wife Melania departed the grounds on Marine One for the final time. According to […]
Ellen ponders how much time to wait before inviting Trump on show
LOS ANGELES, CA – Talk show host and comedian Ellen DeGeneres is reportedly asking associates and producers how long is a good time to wait before inviting soon-to-be former president Donald Trump […]
Biden announces #GiantPlatitude as inauguration theme
WASHINGTON, DC – The Biden Inaugural Committee has announced that the theme for the President-elect’s upcoming inauguration will be #GiantPlatitude. “Given the unprecedented crisis and deep divisions America is facing, we wanted […]
Trump admits six new red states into Union, wins election
WASHINGTON, DC – President Donald Trump signed an executive order Friday adding six new states to the United States of America. According to the executive order, the new states include East Oregon, […]
Liberal media champing at the bit to publish ‘Trump: you’re fired’ headlines
NEW YORK, NY – Anticipating a swift defeat of President Donald Trump in Tuesday’s general election, liberal media figures and publications across the country are champing at the bit to publish the […]
Biden rips up photo of Bernie Sanders during SNL appearance
NEW YORK, NY – Former vice president and presidential candidate Joe Biden caused a stir Saturday night by ripping up a photograph of Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders on live television. The incident […]
BeetPress wishes this guy a fast and full recovery
WASHINGTON, DC – Upon learning of President Trump’s COVID-19 diagnosis, BeetPress would like to set partisanship aside and wish the man who cruelly mocked a physically disabled reporter on national television a […]
Biden holds comfortable lead among Animal Crossing residents
ANIMAL CROSSING – Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden holds a comfortable lead among residents of the imaginary Nintendo world of Animal Crossing, New Horizons, according to sources. A poll among the pixelated […]
Biden vows to announce VP pick before end of first term
WILMINGTON, DE – Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden has postponed the announcement of his running mate until sometime before the end of his first term on January 20th 2025, according to sources […]
