STERLING HEIGHTS, MI – In an effort to revive his flailing campaign, presidential hopeful Beto O’Rourke has announced a Beto 2.0 relaunch to include a CNN town hall and a campaign visit to the General Dynamics Land Systems plant to… Read More ›
Beto O’Rourke
Democratic Listmaker Unsure if de Blasio Should Go Under B or D
WASHINGTON, DC – Stan Doolittle was hired by the DNC last fall. It is his job every morning to scan the news looking for new candidates to add to official DNC lists and to update the 2020 Democratic Primary Wikipedia… Read More ›
All Grown Up: Sanders Now Wants to be Called Bernard
BURLINGTON, VT – Stating that he is no longer a kid, democratic presidential hopeful Senator Sanders now wants to be called Bernard. “Look, would you get legal advice from someone named Robby, or medical advice from someone named Susie? I… Read More ›
Beto O’Rourke Joins MS-13
EL PASO – In a move that political pundits are calling controversial, Democratic Candidate Beto O’Rourke joined the notorious street gang, MS-13. During a press conference, Beto showed off his tattoos and introduced his posse. “These are my cholos,” Beto… Read More ›
Trump to Release Illegal Immigrants Inside Elizabeth Warren’s House
WASHINGTON, DC – Today, the Trump Administration unveiled a plan to release thousands of illegal immigrants in the United States inside Elizabeth Warren’s house. “If Pocahontas loves them so much, let her take care of them,” tweeted the president. “She’s… Read More ›
Bigshot Sanders Supporter Donates $28
PALO ALTO, CA – Upon hearing a call to action at a recent Bernie Sanders Rally, local web developer and Mr. Moneybags Chris Corrigan logged into ActBlue.com and donated $28 to Bernie Sander’s 2020 presidential campaign. “I hear that the… Read More ›
Twitter Bans Everyone That’s Ever Tweeted the Word “Conservative”
Twitter users across the U.S. were shocked when Twitter banned every Twitter user that ever posted the word “conservative” in their feed on Thursday. “I’m not even political,” said Todd Chesters of Salt Lake City, Utah. “I just posted to… Read More ›
