FALLS CHURCH, VA – As the soft light of morning shone through the window and lapped across the face of Chris Cillizza, the CNN political commentator was disappointed to come to the realization that Bernie Sanders does in fact exist,… Read More ›
Bernie Sanders
DNC Creates Super-Duper Delegate, Just in Case
WASHINGTON, DC – The Democratic National Committee has announced the creation of a super-duper-delegate to deploy in the event second-ballot voting doesn’t select a nominee during a brokered convention. After calls for reform by progressives following the 2016 democratic primaries,… Read More ›
Warren Concerned as 23andMe Releases Political Ideology Test
BOSTON, MA – Sources close to the presidential candidate have reported that Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren is concerned that genomics and biotechnology company 23andMe has recently released a political ideology test. Warren, who has been steadily rising in national polling,… Read More ›
Sanders Releases Plan to Erase Library Debt
BURLINGTON, VT – The Bernie Sanders campaign has released a comprehensive plan to erase overdue library fines for over 25 million Americans. “In the United States of America, your financial life and future should not be destroyed because you or… Read More ›
Delaney Wows 20,000-plus Crowd
MINNEAPOLIS, MN – Just three weeks ago, pundits had counted John Delaney out – he was attracting small crowds, polling in the low single digits, and seemingly unable to gain traction in the crowded field of democratic candidates. Rumors spread… Read More ›
Political Activist Actually Just Sad, Bitter Little Man
NEW YORK, NY – For many political enthusiasts, having your favored candidate lose an election can be a difficult experience, but for Dan Week, Hillary Clinton’s 2016 loss against Donald Trump was personal. “I’ve been in love with Hillary ever… Read More ›
Sanders Mourns Loss of 2nd Favorite Nemesis
NEW YORK, NY – Upon hearing the news of billionaire David Koch’s passing at age 79, Bernie Sanders bowed his head in quiet reflection of the thousands of times he had invoked Koch’s name to represent the greed of capitalist… Read More ›
