WILMINGTON, DE – Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden has postponed the announcement of his running mate until sometime before the end of his first term on January 20th 2025, according to sources […]
Biden vows to announce VP pick before end of first term
USPS introduces bikini postal workers to raise revenue
WASHINGTON, DC – The beleaguered United States Postal Service has announced the introduction of bikini-clad post office workers and letter carriers in an effort to raise revenue, according to Postmaster General Louis […]
Biden makes VP choice
WILMINGTON, DE – After weeks of speculation, presidential nominee Joe Biden has finally made a decision about the vice presidential nominee that will join him at the top of the ticket in […]
War criminal delivers touching tribute to John Lewis
WASHINGTON, DC – War criminal and former president George W. Bush delivered a touching tribute to civil rights activist and Congressman John Lewis at his funeral on Thursday. “John Lewis believed in […]
Alt-reality series ‘Forbes,’ where John Kerry is sexy, in development with Hulu
SANTA MONICA, CA – Video-on-demand service Hulu has announced that an alternate-reality series titled Forbes is in development, which explores a world in which John Kerry is attractive. “One can’t help to […]
Biden vows to end Vietnam War if elected
WILMINGTON, DE – In a statement from his home on Thursday, former Vice President and democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden has vowed to end the conflict in Vietnam if elected president. “I […]
Re-animated Strom Thurmond to speak at DNC Convention
MILWAUKEE, WI – The Democratic National Committee has confirmed that a reanimated Strom Thurmond will replace Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to speak at the 2020 DNC Convention to be held at Wisconsin Center […]
Republican John Kasich to headline DNC Convention
MILWAUKEE, WI – The Democratic National Committee has announced that former Ohio Governor John Kasich will join prominent democrats to speak for presumptive nominee Joe Biden at the 2020 Democratic National Convention […]
Fred Armisen, Carrie Brownstein kidnapped by secret police
PORTLAND, OR – Reports are emerging that Portlandia stars Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein were apprehended by secret police officers and taken to an unknown location in an unmarked vehicle sometime Friday […]
Hawkins wins nomination of person to be blamed if Biden loses
TAKOMA PARK, MD – The Green Party has announced that Howie Hawkins will officially become the presumptive nominee of the person who will be blamed if Joe Biden loses the 2020 presidential […]
