ANIMAL CROSSING – Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden holds a comfortable lead among residents of the imaginary Nintendo world of Animal Crossing, New Horizons, according to sources. A poll among the pixelated […]
Biden holds comfortable lead among Animal Crossing residents
Hurricane Laura postponed due to Covid-19 concerns
LAKE CHARLES, LA – The National Weather Service has postponed Hurricane Laura, citing a recent rise in Covid-19 cases in Southern Louisiana and the Houston Metropolitan Area. Experts fear that evacuating citizens […]
Dems introduce ‘Pelosi Act’ to lower cost of Häagen-Dazs
WASHINGTON, DC – House democrats on Thursday introduced legislation that would lower the cost of Häagen-Dazs by 30% in an effort to make the frozen treat more affordable for middle class Americans. […]
Shadow, Inc to develop 2020 voting app
DENVER, CO – Mobile app developer BlueLink, formerly known as Shadow Inc, has announced that the company is working on a mobile voting app called VoteLink expected to be the sole voting […]
Leader of Antifa revealed to be Ben Shapiro
LOS ANGELES, CA – The leader of the anti-facism movement Antifa has been revealed to be conservative commentator and editor-in-chief of The Daily Wire Ben Shapiro. The revelation comes after Shapiro created […]
Biden vows to announce VP pick before end of first term
WILMINGTON, DE – Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden has postponed the announcement of his running mate until sometime before the end of his first term on January 20th 2025, according to sources […]
USPS introduces bikini postal workers to raise revenue
WASHINGTON, DC – The beleaguered United States Postal Service has announced the introduction of bikini-clad post office workers and letter carriers in an effort to raise revenue, according to Postmaster General Louis […]
Biden makes VP choice
WILMINGTON, DE – After weeks of speculation, presidential nominee Joe Biden has finally made a decision about the vice presidential nominee that will join him at the top of the ticket in […]
War criminal delivers touching tribute to John Lewis
WASHINGTON, DC – War criminal and former president George W. Bush delivered a touching tribute to civil rights activist and Congressman John Lewis at his funeral on Thursday. “John Lewis believed in […]
Alt-reality series ‘Forbes,’ where John Kerry is sexy, in development with Hulu
SANTA MONICA, CA – Video-on-demand service Hulu has announced that an alternate-reality series titled Forbes is in development, which explores a world in which John Kerry is attractive. “One can’t help to […]
