WASHINGTON, DC – Secretary of Transportation-elect Pete Buttigieg has laid out an ambitious infrastructure plan that includes building thousands of high-speed model train sets in basements and recreation rooms across America. “When […]
Transportation Secretary Buttigieg proposes high-speed model trains
Covid-19 relief bill just gives $908B to Jeff Bezos
WASHINGTON, DC – A bipartisan Covid-19 relief bill introduced in Congress will give Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos $908 billion if passed. Although this latest stimulus falls short of providing American taxpayers a […]
NBC planning Golden Girls reboot with remaining cast members
HOLLYWOOD, CA – NBCUniversal has announced a reboot of the classic sitcom The Golden Girls, featuring all living cast members of the original series. “Given the state of the world right now, […]
Elizabeth Warren appointed Secretary of Janet Yellen
BOSTON, MA – Joe Biden has reportedly tapped Senator Elizabeth Warren for Secretary of Janet Yellen, according to a spokesperson from the Office of the President-Elect. The appointment comes as a surprise […]
Trump admits six new red states into Union, wins election
WASHINGTON, DC – President Donald Trump signed an executive order Friday adding six new states to the United States of America. According to the executive order, the new states include East Oregon, […]
Liberals saddened to find most brunch places out of business
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – With the 2020 election and the presidency of Donald Trump squarely in the rearview mirror, the nation’s liberals have only one thought on their mind Sunday: their first […]
Nevada election results expected within weeks
CARSON CITY, NV – As the nation patiently awaits the results of the 2020 election between President Donald Trump and Vice President Joe Biden, elections officials in Nevada are confirming that results […]
Liberal media champing at the bit to publish ‘Trump: you’re fired’ headlines
NEW YORK, NY – Anticipating a swift defeat of President Donald Trump in Tuesday’s general election, liberal media figures and publications across the country are champing at the bit to publish the […]
Biden rips up photo of Bernie Sanders during SNL appearance
NEW YORK, NY – Former vice president and presidential candidate Joe Biden caused a stir Saturday night by ripping up a photograph of Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders on live television. The incident […]
BeetPress wishes this guy a fast and full recovery
WASHINGTON, DC – Upon learning of President Trump’s COVID-19 diagnosis, BeetPress would like to set partisanship aside and wish the man who cruelly mocked a physically disabled reporter on national television a […]
