DALLAS, TX – The all-female country rock band formerly known as The Chicks has announced that they are dropping the word Chicks from their name, citing the infantile, flippant, and sexist nature […]
The Chicks drop Chicks from name
Clinton publishes new book extending additional blame for 2016 loss
CHAPPAQUA, NY – Three years after the release of her 2017 memoir What Happened, former presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has penned a new memoir further outlining the reasons behind her 2016 presidential […]
Dem party insiders unsure if Biden even alive still
WASHINGTON, DC – Admitting they haven’t seen or heard from the presidential candidate recently, democratic party insiders are questioning whether former Vice President Joe Biden is even alive still. “I’ve been seeing […]
Cast of Pootie Tang to make up bulk of Biden’s proposed cabinet
PHILADELPHIA, PA – According to sources within the campaign, democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden is actively considering most of the cast of the 2001 comedy film Pootie Tang to fill out his […]
‘Good cop’ lauded for shooting unarmed black man in leg instead of heart
CHICAGO, IL – In what officials are calling an example of extreme restraint and exemplary policing, Chicago Police Officer Gregory Smith is being praised for shooting unarmed black man Darrel Washington in […]
[candidate name] secures democratic nomination
WASHINGTON, DC – Having secured the 1991 delegates necessary to clench the nomination, democratic candidate [candidate name] is the official presumptive nominee to compete against President Donald Trump in November’s presidential election. […]
Amy Cooper grateful for timing of George Floyd murder
NEW YORK, NY – Amy Cooper, the white woman at the center of a confrontation with birdwatcher Christian Cooper [no relation] in Central Park last Monday, is grateful that the murder of […]
COPS to release 2-hour ‘Just the Beatings’ DVD
LOS ANGELES, CA – Given America’s renewed interest in police brutality, the Paramount Network has announced a June 6th special release, Cops: Just the Beatings, featuring the most violent examples of abuse […]
Elizabeth Warren to stand with George Floyd protesters in 2023
BOSTON, MA – According to sources close to the senator, Elizabeth Warren is planning to travel to Minneapolis to make a statement in solidarity with protesters following the May 25th, 2020 killing […]
Gov Tim Walz reminds protestors to maintain safe social distance while setting police precincts ablaze
MINNEAPOLIS, MN – Minnesota Governor Tim Walz has released a public statement reminding protesters to maintain a safe social distance while firebombing police stations. “While I appreciate protestors voicing their concerns over […]
