WASHINGTON, DC – President Donald Trump signed an executive order Friday adding six new states to the United States of America. According to the executive order, the new states include East Oregon, […]
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – With the 2020 election and the presidency of Donald Trump squarely in the rearview mirror, the nation’s liberals have only one thought on their mind Sunday: their first […]
CARSON CITY, NV – As the nation patiently awaits the results of the 2020 election between President Donald Trump and Vice President Joe Biden, elections officials in Nevada are confirming that results […]
NEW YORK, NY – Anticipating a swift defeat of President Donald Trump in Tuesday’s general election, liberal media figures and publications across the country are champing at the bit to publish the […]
NEW YORK, NY – Former vice president and presidential candidate Joe Biden caused a stir Saturday night by ripping up a photograph of Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders on live television. The incident […]
WASHINGTON, DC – Upon learning of President Trump’s COVID-19 diagnosis, BeetPress would like to set partisanship aside and wish the man who cruelly mocked a physically disabled reporter on national television a […]
HOLLYWOOD, CA – Comedian and actress Ellen Degeneres is defending her friendship with Osama bin Laden after video emerged of the two attending a football game together. Degeneres posted a video to […]
ANIMAL CROSSING – Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden holds a comfortable lead among residents of the imaginary Nintendo world of Animal Crossing, New Horizons, according to sources. A poll among the pixelated […]
LAKE CHARLES, LA – The National Weather Service has postponed Hurricane Laura, citing a recent rise in Covid-19 cases in Southern Louisiana and the Houston Metropolitan Area. Experts fear that evacuating citizens […]
WASHINGTON, DC – House democrats on Thursday introduced legislation that would lower the cost of Häagen-Dazs by 30% in an effort to make the frozen treat more affordable for middle class Americans. […]
