EL PASO, TX – Lawmakers across the nation have responded with increased calls for inaction following news that a lone gunman armed with an AK-47 killed at least 20 people and wounded dozens more at a Wal-Mart in El Paso,… Read More ›
culture
Trump Trades in Wife for Newer Model
WASHINGTON, DC – According to White House sources, President Donald Trump has traded in his wife Melania (née Knauss) for a newer model. “The president has gotten almost 15 years of good use from Melania, but Mr. Trump has decided… Read More ›
Biden Family Meets to Discuss Taking Away Joe’s Car Keys
MCLEAN, VA – The immediate family Joe Biden took advantage of the candidate’s time away at the 2nd democratic debate to meet and discuss taking away the car keys of the 76-year old former vice president, sources close to the… Read More ›
Delaney: Sanders’ McRib Plan Will Reduce Quality
DETROIT, MI – Sparks flew at the Democratic Debate last night as John Delaney went on the attack against Senator Bernie Sanders’ Make-McRib-Available-Year-Round plan. According to his campaign website, Delaney’s plan for the McDonald’s sandwich essentially keeps the McRib available… Read More ›
Kamala Harris: Make McRib Available Year Round
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Just in time for the second series of democratic debates, California Senator and candidate Kamala Harris has unveiled her plan to make the McRib sandwich available throughout the year. According to the Harris campaign, yea-round access… Read More ›
Huge Success for Pro-Life Movement as Alabama Rules Anyone Involved in Abortion be Executed
MONTGOMERY, AL – New anti-abortion restrictions signed into law by Governor Kay Ivey are being hailed by pro-life activists as a major victory. The new law falls short of banning abortion, but requires that anyone involved in an abortion be… Read More ›
Democratic Listmaker Unsure if de Blasio Should Go Under B or D
WASHINGTON, DC – Stan Doolittle was hired by the DNC last fall. It is his job every morning to scan the news looking for new candidates to add to official DNC lists and to update the 2020 Democratic Primary Wikipedia… Read More ›
