WASHINGTON, DC – President Donald Trump tweeted out to the residents of Ohio to hunker down and be prepared for the arrival of Hurricane Dorian later this week. At a press conference, Trump reiterated his concern for Ohio. “This is… Read More ›
culture
DoD to Allow Trump One Nuke Against Dorian
ARLINGTON, VA – The Department of Defense has reportedly allowed President Donald Trump the use of one nuclear weapon against Hurricane Dorian, a controversial move intended to satiate the President and get the idea out of his system. “I got… Read More ›
Voters Want to Know: Who’s Eating What at the Iowa State Fair?
DES MOINES, IA – Every four years, presidential candidates flock to the Iowa State Fair to connect with voters, pose for photo ops, and to sample some of the many varieties of (generally unhealthy) food that the fair offers, and… Read More ›
Jeffrey Epstein Asks Judge for 12 Year-old Lawyer
NEW YORK, NY – As the Jeffrey Epstein trial continues, the judge has denied Epstein’s request to have a 12 year-old girl represent him. “Your honor, this is an outrage,” said Epstein in open court. “I am entitled to the… Read More ›
NRA Allows Congress to Introduce, Block Gun Reform
FAIRFAX, VA – After a series of deadly mass shootings over the weekend, the National Rifle Association as reportedly called upon Congress to introduce and block commonsense gun reform legislation. “Like every American, we’re sickened by the horrifying scenes in… Read More ›
Mass Shooter Interrupts Other Mass Shooting
INDIANAPOLIS, IN – For Jesse Winters, it was just another trip to the shopping mall on a Saturday afternoon. Winters made the trip to Greenwood Park Mall, as he routinely does, to buy a birthday present for his daughter. “I… Read More ›
Lawmakers Urge Inaction After Latest Mass Shooting
EL PASO, TX – Lawmakers across the nation have responded with increased calls for inaction following news that a lone gunman armed with an AK-47 killed at least 20 people and wounded dozens more at a Wal-Mart in El Paso,… Read More ›
