WASHINGTON, DC – President Biden announced Thursday that he is signing an executive order forgiving up to $400 billion in student loan debt for Ukrainian college graduates long burdened under crippling financial […]
NORFOLK, ENGLAND – England’s Queen Elizabeth II celebrated her 96th Birthday, an event which also marks her 70th years on the throne, with a small bowl of Special K and a bowel […]
WASHINGTON, DC – As the Russian offensive into Ukraine enters its third week, previously existing supply chain disruptions and a ban on Russian imports of borscht are causing the price of the […]
KABUL, AFGHANISTAN – According to sources familiar with the matter, Al-Qaeda will commemorate the 20th anniversary of the September 11th, 2001 terrorist attacks on the United States by flying a US-based jetliner […]
LONDON, ENGLAND – Buckingham Palace has retracted its report that the Duke of Edinburgh Prince Philip, 99, has died. “I’m embarrassed to say we make this mistake at least once per month, […]
NEIGHBORHOOD OF MAKE BELIEVE – Oprah Winfrey sat down for an extended interview with Prince Tuesday and Ornithorhynchus Anatinus “Ana” Platypus this week, marking the first time the royal couple has agreed […]
KENOSHA, WI – In what is being described as an unfortunate mishap, 18-year old accused murderer Kyle Rittenhouse has reportedly shot off his own penis. “Mr. Rittenhouse was demonstrating a new Walther […]
LAKE CHARLES, LA – The National Weather Service has postponed Hurricane Laura, citing a recent rise in Covid-19 cases in Southern Louisiana and the Houston Metropolitan Area. Experts fear that evacuating citizens […]
CHICAGO, IL – In what officials are calling an example of extreme restraint and exemplary policing, Chicago Police Officer Gregory Smith is being praised for shooting unarmed black man Darrel Washington in […]
NEW YORK, NY – Amy Cooper, the white woman at the center of a confrontation with birdwatcher Christian Cooper [no relation] in Central Park last Monday, is grateful that the murder of […]
