DES MOINES, IA – At a Presidential Youth Forum held at Roosevelt High School in Des Moines, former Vice President Joe Biden addressed a crowd of approximately 600 high school seniors, college […]
Biden to Youth: Voting is Lame
Pete Buttigieg Finishes Strong 2nd in Buttigieg Family Thanksgiving Straw Poll
SOUTH BEND, IN – Continuing a family tradition, the Buttigieg family participated in an informal democratic primary straw poll Thursday after completing Thanksgiving dinner. “We’re all fairly politically active in my family,” […]
Susan Sarandon Recovering After Attack by Neera Tanden
MANCHESTER, NH – Academy award-winning actress and political activist Susan Sarandon is recovering after a confrontation with Center for American Progress President Neera Tanden left her with bruises and a concussion. The […]
Your Aunt: So Many Great Candidates
ERIE, PA – As she prepared snacks and drinks in advance of the fifth democratic presidential primary debate, your aunt declared that there are so many great candidates. “There are so many […]
Elizabeth Warren: Yep, I’m Gay
BOSTON, MA – Just days after the rollout of her Medicare for All [Who Want It] plan, Elizabeth Warren has become the second LGBTQ democratic candidate by announcing that she is a […]
Mass Shooting Death Toll Required to Capture Nation’s Attention Rises to 17
NEW YORK – According to mainstream news outlets, the average death toll from a mass shooting required to capture the national attention has risen to seventeen. This number is up from August […]
Yang Asks Supporter for Molly
DES MOINES, IA – At his Yangapalooza campaign event on Friday, democratic presidential candidate Andrew Yang asked a supporter if he could provide him with Molly, according to sources. Molly, the street […]
Pence Has Whole Slate of Homophobic Policy Ready in Case Trump Impeached
WASHINGTON, DC – Vice President Mike Pence spent the weekend putting together a myriad of anti-gay proposals in the event that President Donald Trump is impeached. According to Pence, the first thing […]
Ellen Invites God Hates Fags People to Carve Pumpkins
LOS ANGELES, CA – Ellen DeGeneres, comedian and host of the Ellen DeGeneres Show, got into the holiday spirit this week by carving pumpkins with several of the God Hates Fags people. […]
Americans Fondly Recall Days When President was Homophobic Murderer
UNITED STATES – Nearly three years into Donald Trump’s presidency, nostalgic Americans are fondly recalling better times in which the president was a simply a homophobic war criminal. “Every time I turn […]
