KABUL, AFGHANISTAN – According to sources familiar with the matter, Al-Qaeda will commemorate the 20th anniversary of the September 11th, 2001 terrorist attacks on the United States by flying a US-based jetliner […]
LONDON, ENGLAND – Buckingham Palace has retracted its report that the Duke of Edinburgh Prince Philip, 99, has died. “I’m embarrassed to say we make this mistake at least once per month, […]
NEIGHBORHOOD OF MAKE BELIEVE – Oprah Winfrey sat down for an extended interview with Prince Tuesday and Ornithorhynchus Anatinus “Ana” Platypus this week, marking the first time the royal couple has agreed […]
KENOSHA, WI – In what is being described as an unfortunate mishap, 18-year old accused murder Kyle Rittenhouse has reportedly shot off his own penis. “Mr. Rittenhouse was demonstrating a new Walther […]
LAKE CHARLES, LA – The National Weather Service has postponed Hurricane Laura, citing a recent rise in Covid-19 cases in Southern Louisiana and the Houston Metropolitan Area. Experts fear that evacuating citizens […]
CHICAGO, IL – In what officials are calling an example of extreme restraint and exemplary policing, Chicago Police Officer Gregory Smith is being praised for shooting unarmed black man Darrel Washington in […]
NEW YORK, NY – Amy Cooper, the white woman at the center of a confrontation with birdwatcher Christian Cooper [no relation] in Central Park last Monday, is grateful that the murder of […]
MINNEAPOLIS, MN – Minnesota Governor Tim Walz has released a public statement reminding protesters to maintain a safe social distance while firebombing police stations. “While I appreciate protestors voicing their concerns over […]
NEW YORK, NY – The campaign of presidential hopeful Joe Biden has hired Amy Cooper as Director of Black Outreach, sources confirm. “Given the recent comments from the former Vice President, it’s […]
BEDFORD, CT – Self-proclaimed liberal and democratic party voter Jeff Tiedrich recently tore into President Trump with a tweet that some in the Twittersphere are describing as brutal and a scathing indictment. […]
