SEATTLE – Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos has launched a GoFundMe campaign to help raise money for his niece who is experiencing a string of bad luck, sources report. The GoFundMe campaign “Help Nella Get Back on Her Feet,” was launched… Read More ›
Business
San Francisco Airport Bans Single Use Toilet Paper
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – “We need to save the environment,” says the airport instructional video. “Even if it’s only one square at a time.” San Francisco International Airport (SFO) has instituted the ban on single-use toilet paper in an attempt… Read More ›
Sanders Mourns Loss of 2nd Favorite Nemesis
NEW YORK, NY – Upon hearing the news of billionaire David Koch’s passing at age 79, Bernie Sanders bowed his head in quiet reflection of the thousands of times he had invoked Koch’s name to represent the greed of capitalist… Read More ›
Concerned Citizens Mobilize to Save Amazon
SEATLLE, WA – Upon hearing the news that Amazon founder and CEO Jeff Bezos lost $3.4 Billion in net worth as the stock market plunged last week, concerned citizens have mobilized to save the beleaguered corporation, with many distressing over… Read More ›
Wells Fargo Informs Customer: We Invested in Beanie Babies
NEW YORK, NY – Wells Fargo Bank is facing renewed criticism after it’s been revealed that some of their investment practices going back almost 30 years have left many of its customers with far less money than they originally invested…. Read More ›
Bill Maher Aroused Seeing Stock Market Plunge
LOS ANGELES, CA – Upon seeing the Dow Jones Industrial Average tumble by over 600 points on Thursday, Bill Maher, Comedian and host of HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher, reportedly became physically aroused. “Oh man, look at those numbers… Read More ›
Epstein Dead, Bill Clinton Randomly Trends on Twitter
NEW YORK, NY – The nation awoke to the shocking news that Billionaire financier Jeffrey Epstein had died, another life tragically taken by suicide. Epstein, 66, was awaiting trial at the Metropolitan Correctional Center in Manhattan on federal charges of… Read More ›
