NEW YORK, NY – Former New York mayor and democratic presidential candidate Michael Bloomberg is feared dead after becoming trapped under a cash avalanche on Friday. “We responded to a call around […]
Michael Bloomberg Feared Dead in Cash Avalanche
Beto O'Rourke Now Working at Hot Topic
EL PASO, TX – Two months after suspending his campaign for President of the United States, former congressman Beto O’Rourke was recently spotted working at an El Paso-area Hot Topic store. “I […]
Arm Manufacturers Optimistic About Iran War Prospects
MANCHESTER, NH – Citing recent escalations in tension between the United States and Iran, prosthetic arm manufactures are optimistic about the prospects of an increase in business in the event of a […]
Bloomberg Buys White House
WASHINGTON, DC – Former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg has reportedly purchased a new Washington, DC home, according to sources. The 55,000 square foot, 16 bedroom and 35 bathroom neoclassical mansion […]
Jeff Bezos Launches GoFundMe to Help Niece in Need
SEATTLE – Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos has launched a GoFundMe campaign to help raise money for his niece who is experiencing a string of bad luck, sources report. The GoFundMe campaign “Help […]
San Francisco Airport Bans Single Use Toilet Paper
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – “We need to save the environment,” says the airport instructional video. “Even if it’s only one square at a time.” San Francisco International Airport (SFO) has instituted the […]
Sanders Mourns Loss of 2nd Favorite Nemesis
NEW YORK, NY – Upon hearing the news of billionaire David Koch’s passing at age 79, Bernie Sanders bowed his head in quiet reflection of the thousands of times he had invoked […]
Concerned Citizens Mobilize to Save Amazon
SEATLLE, WA – Upon hearing the news that Amazon founder and CEO Jeff Bezos lost $3.4 Billion in net worth as the stock market plunged last week, concerned citizens have mobilized to […]
Wells Fargo Informs Customer: We Invested in Beanie Babies
NEW YORK, NY – Wells Fargo Bank is facing renewed criticism after it’s been revealed that some of their investment practices going back almost 30 years have left many of its customers […]
Bill Maher Aroused Seeing Stock Market Plunge
LOS ANGELES, CA – Upon seeing the Dow Jones Industrial Average tumble by over 600 points on Thursday, Bill Maher, Comedian and host of HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher, reportedly became […]
