PALO ALTO, CA – Tesla CEO Elon Musk has unveiled plans for a robot that can sexually satisfy your wife. According to Musk, Tesla will branch out from building electric, self-driving cars […]
Elon Musk unveils robot that can satisfy your wife
Billionaires plan to colonize Uranus
TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCES, NM – Fresh off a successful flight to the edge of space Sunday, Virgin Galactic CEO Richard Branson says he and Virgin Galactic are opening Uranus for everyone. “Imagine […]
House Republicans pledge an extra $20B to Bezos for no reason
WASHINGTON, DC – Republicans in Congress have pledged an additional $20 billion to Amazon founder Jeff Bezos for no specific reason whatsoever. This comes in response to Maria Cantwell’s (D-WA) request for […]
American Girlfriends Demand More Hard Seltzer Choices
NEW YORK, NY – Spring is finally here, and girlfriends across the country are ready to put the trauma of the past year behind them and meet up with their gal-pals to […]
Elon Musk buys Bolivia, renames it ß-Œ 54-e-A
LA PAZ, BOLIVIA – In a move he describes as a no brainer, Tesla CEO Elon Musk has purchased the South American country of Bolivia for $40.5 billion and renamed it ß-Œ […]
Hillary Clinton to be new face of $50 bill
WASHINGTON, DC – In his first week in office, President Joe Biden has wasted no time righting the wrongs of the past by signing a series of executive orders to empower women […]
Covid-19 relief bill just gives $908B to Jeff Bezos
WASHINGTON, DC – A bipartisan Covid-19 relief bill introduced in Congress will give Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos $908 billion if passed. Although this latest stimulus falls short of providing American taxpayers a […]
Liberals saddened to find most brunch places out of business
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – With the 2020 election and the presidency of Donald Trump squarely in the rearview mirror, the nation’s liberals have only one thought on their mind Sunday: their first […]
Shadow, Inc to develop 2020 voting app
DENVER, CO – Mobile app developer BlueLink, formerly known as Shadow Inc, has announced that the company is working on a mobile voting app called VoteLink expected to be the sole voting […]
Leader of Antifa revealed to be Ben Shapiro
LOS ANGELES, CA – The leader of the anti-facism movement Antifa has been revealed to be conservative commentator and editor-in-chief of The Daily Wire Ben Shapiro. The revelation comes after Shapiro created […]
