Author Archives

• New iPhone App Alerts You When to be Outraged

  By tonydigerolamobeets on March 29, 2019 • ( 0 )

  

  CUPERTINO, CA – Apple has announced that it is developing a brand new app that comes loaded into every iPhone that will alert the user every time he or she [or any gender-neutral pronoun] should be outraged. “Apple is always… Read More ›

• Mueller Report Reveals Alex Jones Right About Everything

  By tonydigerolamobeets on March 23, 2019 • ( 0 )

  

  In a shocking turn of events, the Mueller report has not only vindicated President Donald Trump, but host of Info Wars, Alex Jones as being 100% right on everything. “I told you people!  I told you!” screeched Jones from his… Read More ›

• CNN Worried Not Enough Tragedy to Sustain Cable TV News Anymore

  By tonydigerolamobeets on March 21, 2019 • ( 0 )

  

  ATLANTA – CNN, the 24 hour news network, had struggled with its ratings in the past, but a recent spokesman charting its future said there may not be enough tragedy to sustain Cable TV News. “Some blame the Internet or… Read More ›

• Disney: Everyone Who Doesn’t Buy Captain Marvel Action Figure is Sexist Pig

  By tonydigerolamobeets on March 20, 2019 • ( 0 )

  

  Disney, the makers of the Captain Marvel movie, have revealed the new Captain Marvel action figure.  A spokesman for the company assured reporters that the figure is full poseable and will be the hottest selling toy this Christmas, unless you… Read More ›

• Meghan McCain Builds Glorious Shrine to Late Father

  By tonydigerolamobeets on March 19, 2019 • ( 0 )

  

  LOS ANGELES – In response to recent criticism of her late father from President Trump, Meghan McCain unveiled plans to build a glorious shrine to John McCain. “John McCain was a great warrior!” said Meghan on the View, sporting a… Read More ›

• Twitter Bans Everyone That’s Ever Tweeted the Word “Conservative”

  By tonydigerolamobeets on March 19, 2019 • ( 0 )

  

  Twitter users across the U.S. were shocked when Twitter banned every Twitter user that ever posted the word “conservative” in their feed on Thursday. “I’m not even political,” said Todd Chesters of Salt Lake City, Utah. “I just posted to… Read More ›

• The Simpsons to Remove Every Episode Prior to 2019

  By tonydigerolamobeets on March 16, 2019 • ( 0 )

  

  LOS ANGELES, CA – With the recent removal of the Michael Jackson episode from the Simpsons line up, discussion on Twitter have focused on what other jokes might not be appropriate for 2019. “We live in the present,” a showrunner… Read More ›