Author Archives
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Disney: Everyone Who Doesn’t Buy Captain Marvel Action Figure is Sexist Pig
Disney, the makers of the Captain Marvel movie, have revealed the new Captain Marvel action figure. A spokesman for the company assured reporters that the figure is full poseable and will be the hottest selling toy this Christmas, unless you… Read More ›
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Meghan McCain Builds Glorious Shrine to Late Father
LOS ANGELES – In response to recent criticism of her late father from President Trump, Meghan McCain unveiled plans to build a glorious shrine to John McCain. “John McCain was a great warrior!” said Meghan on the View, sporting a… Read More ›
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Twitter Bans Everyone That’s Ever Tweeted the Word “Conservative”
Twitter users across the U.S. were shocked when Twitter banned every Twitter user that ever posted the word “conservative” in their feed on Thursday. “I’m not even political,” said Todd Chesters of Salt Lake City, Utah. “I just posted to… Read More ›
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The Simpsons to Remove Every Episode Prior to 2019
LOS ANGELES, CA – With the recent removal of the Michael Jackson episode from the Simpsons line up, discussion on Twitter have focused on what other jokes might not be appropriate for 2019. “We live in the present,” a showrunner… Read More ›
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Cohen Says Trump Didn’t Hold Elevator Door
WASHINGTON, DC – In another shocking revelation that rocked Washington D.C., former attorney for Trump, Michael Cohen, revealed to his lawyers that once Trump failed to hold an elevator for him in the Trump Tower. “I looked him right in… Read More ›
