Satirist, Filmmaker, Person
PHILADELPHIA, PA – During a recent campaign strategy meeting, presidential candidate and former vice president Joe Biden was surprised to find that he is still the frontrunner, leading in all national polls. […]
NEW YORK, NY – Statistician and fivethirtyeight.com editor Nate Silver spent the bulk of Saturday evening masturbating to the latest DMR/Selzer polling data out of Iowa. “I had a date with some […]
BOSTON, MA – Democratic presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren has entered an inpatient rehabilitation facility to receive treatment for alcoholism after grabbing drinks with over 4000 supporters, sources close to the campaign have […]
FALLS CHURCH, VA – As the soft light of morning shone through the window and lapped across the face of Chris Cillizza, the CNN political commentator was disappointed to come to the […]
WASHINGTON, DC – The Democratic National Committee has announced the creation of a super-duper-delegate to deploy in the event second-ballot voting doesn’t select a nominee during a brokered convention. After calls for […]
BOSTON, MA – Sources close to the presidential candidate have reported that Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren is concerned that genomics and biotechnology company 23andMe has recently released a political ideology test. Warren, […]
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Nearly three years into Trump’s presidency, liberals across America are longing for the days of yore, when Barack Obama was president, and the biggest concern facing most people […]
WASHINGTON, DC – According to sources close to the former vice president, Joe Biden has taken over John Delaney’s body in an effort to revive his flailing campaign for president. After a […]
WASHINGTON, DC – President Donald Trump tweeted out to the residents of Ohio to hunker down and be prepared for the arrival of Hurricane Dorian later this week. At a press conference, […]
EL PASO, TX – Democratic presidential candidate Beto O’Rourke has delivered an expletive-laden plea for campaign donations, sources confirm. “I’ve been traveling from coast to motherfucking coast meeting voters like you who […]
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