NEW YORK, NY – Spring is finally here, and girlfriends across the country are ready to put the trauma of the past year behind them and meet up with their gal-pals to […]
American Girlfriends Demand More Hard Seltzer Choices
personcalledryan
Satirist, Filmmaker, Person
BrooklynDad_Defiant! will egg your ex’s house for $250
NEW YORK, NY – Sources close to the political activist report that BrooklynDad_Defiant!, as he is known on twitter under the handle @mmpadellan, will egg your ex’s house for as little as […]
Prince Tuesday and Ana Platypus sit down for interview with Oprah
NEIGHBORHOOD OF MAKE BELIEVE – Oprah Winfrey sat down for an extended interview with Prince Tuesday and Ornithorhynchus Anatinus “Ana” Platypus this week, marking the first time the royal couple has agreed […]
Ted Cruz’s bathroom mirror escapes to Cancún
HOUSTON, TX – According to sources close to the Texas senator, Ted Cruz’s bathroom mirror has removed itself from the wall and left the residence for good. “I’ve taken a lot of […]
Ted Cruz travels to Mexico for black market COVID-19 vaccines for uninsured TX residents
CANCUN, MEXICO – Texas Senator Ted Cruz has traveled to Cancun Mexico in order to secure a stockpile of black market COVID-19 vaccines to inoculate approximately 5 million uninsured Texans. “I couldn’t […]
Evidence emerges Andrew Cuomo created Covid-19 to boost public image
ALBANY, NY – A stunning report released by New York Attorney General Letitia James is giving clear evidence that New York Governor Andrew Cuomo created Covid-19 in an attempt to bolster his […]
Neera Tanden pregnant with Hillary Clinton’s lizard child
WASHINGTON, DC – President of the think tank Center for American Progress and Director of the Office of Management and Budget nominee Neera Tanden is pregnant with Hillary Clinton’s lizard child, sources […]
Kyle Rittenhouse accidentally shoots off own penis
KENOSHA, WI – In what is being described as an unfortunate mishap, 18-year old accused murder Kyle Rittenhouse has reportedly shot off his own penis. “Mr. Rittenhouse was demonstrating a new Walther […]
Pelosi suffers ice cream headache
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – House Speaker Nancy Pelosi reportedly suffered from a severe ice cream headache Wednesday after voraciously consuming an entire pint of Häagen-Dazs butter pecan ice cream. “I was in […]
Elon Musk buys Bolivia, renames it ß-Œ 54-e-A
LA PAZ, BOLIVIA – In a move he describes as a no brainer, Tesla CEO Elon Musk has purchased the South American country of Bolivia for $40.5 billion and renamed it ß-Œ […]
