FLORENCE, ITALY – Saying that the disastrous fire at the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris served as a wake up call, officials in Florence have identified over 25 structures that pose a […]
Florence Cathedral Slated for Demolition Due to Safety Concerns
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Satirist, Filmmaker, Person
Eiffel Tower Feeling Pretty Cocky Right Now
PARIS – Upon hearing the news that the iconic Notre-Dame de Paris cathedral is currently ablaze, the Eiffel Tower has admitted that it’s feeling pretty good right now. “Well, would you look […]
Ken Marino Still Wants to Dip Balls in It
LOS ANGELES – According to those close to Ken Marino, known for his roles in the feature films Love for Rent, Wanderlust, and Wet Hot American Summer, as well as television shows […]
Kim Kardashian Studying to Become Lawyer in Hopes of Someday Defending OJ
Los Angeles – Like father, like daughter; Kim Kardashian is studying to become a lawyer in hopes of someday defending OJ Simpson in a murder trial. “My father Robert Kardashian was a […]
Bernie Sanders Under Fire for “How to Dupe the Public” Book Sales
Presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders is under fire for reporting that he is now a millionaire due to royalties from his book How to Dupe the Public (by Pretending to Give a Sh*t […]
Champion of the Poor Now Making Six Figures
WASHINGTON, DC – Voters in New York’s 14th Congressional District, which represents the Bronx and parts of Queens, were shocked and disheartened to learn that the representative they elected to represent them […]
DNC to Democrats: Opt-out or You’re Running for President
WASHINGTON, DC – In a memo released to democrats Monday morning, the Democratic National Committee is requiring that democrats opt-out, otherwise they’ll be automatically entered into the 2020 democratic primary race. “The […]
Tim Ryan, Michael Bennett, Michael Bloomberg and 37 Others Announce 2020 Run
EVERYWHERE – In a flurry of press conferences Thursday, Rep. Tim Ryan (D-OH), former mayor Michael Bloomberg (D-NY), Sen. Michael Bennett (D-CO), and 37 others announced that they were seeking the nomination […]
Bigshot Sanders Supporter Donates $28
PALO ALTO, CA – Upon hearing a call to action at a recent Bernie Sanders Rally, local web developer and Mr. Moneybags Chris Corrigan logged into ActBlue.com and donated $28 to Bernie […]
Mueller Pulls All-nighter to Finish Report
WASHINGTON, DC – A visibly exhausted Robert Mueller turned in his report to the Justice Department on Friday almost 30 minutes past the deadline. “Listen, I’ve had a lot going on in […]
