Author Archives
Satirist, Filmmaker, Person
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United Healthcare CEO to Host Sanders Fundraiser
MINNEAPOLIS, MN – United Healthcare CEO Dave Wichmann will host a fundraiser for Democratic presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders at his home in Edena, Minnesota, BeetPress has learned. Tickets to this extravagant event, catered by St. Genevieve and Tilia head chef… Read More ›
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No One Shows Up to Bernie Sanders Rally
BROOKLYN, NY – It appears that The Bern has gotten a heavy dose of aloe. The Bernie Sanders 2020 campaign is scratching it’s head after only six people attended a campaign kickoff rally for the presidential hopeful at Brooklyn College… Read More ›
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Ex-Clinton Staffers Slam Sanders Over Covered Wagon
NEW YORK – In his campaign video, released last week, Vermont senator and presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders singled out greenhouse gas emissions as a special interest that he would take on. But in the final months of the 2016 campaign,… Read More ›
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Trump Refuses to Back Down Despite International Pressure
WASHINGTON, DC – International pressure is mounting for United States President Donald Trump to step down and cede power to Opposition Leader Nancy Pelosi as tensions rise within Washington. The desperate situation is worsening by the day as Mr. Trump… Read More ›
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The Triumphant Return of Chris Farley
CHICAGO – Funnyman Chris Farley, best known for his celebrity impressions including Jerry Garcia, Tom Arnold, and Dom DeLuise on the long-running NBC variety show Saturday Night Live, has returned from a 21-year absence from the public. “I had a revelation… Read More ›
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Local Accountant Plans to Get the Band Back Together
ABERDEEN, WA – Local Certified Public Accountant Krist Novoselic is getting his old band back together. “We had a pretty good thing going back in ’90, 91,” says Novoselic, 53, who is a senior partner at Prezler, Larner, Novoselic &… Read More ›
