Author Archives

Satirist, Filmmaker, Person

• Bernie Chopped

  By personcalledryan on March 18, 2019 • ( 0 )

  

  NEW YORK – Senator Bernie Sanders (I- VT) was eliminated after the appetizer round on a recent episode of Chopped, sources confirm. Sanders was chosen as one of four contestants to compete in the Food Network series for a chance… Read More ›

• Iowan Wants to Enjoy Beer Without People Jumping on Bar

  By personcalledryan on March 17, 2019 • ( 0 )

  

  BURLINGTON, IA – Local pipe fitter Jeff Bunch has expressed frustration after a man entered the Lucky Horse Tavern and jumped on the bar where Bunch was seated. “Look, I’m out there busting my ass from 6am – 4pm to… Read More ›

• Man Who Lost to Ted Cruz to Run Against Man Who Beat Ted Cruz

  By personcalledryan on March 14, 2019 • ( 0 )

  

  EL PASO, TX – Beto O’Rourke, who valiantly lost in the senate race against Ted Cruz, one of the most detested politicians in America, has announced that he is running for President of the United States against Donald Trump, a… Read More ›

• Warren Introduces College-Bribery-for-All Plan

  By personcalledryan on March 12, 2019 • ( 0 )

  

  BOSTON, MA – In an effort to even the playing field in the college acceptance process and appeal to working class families, democratic presidential hopeful Senator Elizabeth Warren has unveiled her College-Bribery-for-All plan at a campaign rally in Springfield. According… Read More ›

• Boeing to Disable ‘Auto-Crash’ Feature on 737 Max 8

  By personcalledryan on March 11, 2019 • ( 0 )

  

  SEATTLE, WA – Citing a negative reaction stemming from the crash of Ethiopian Airlines Flight 302 on Monday, and the October 29th crash of Lion Air Flight 610, aircraft manufacturer Boeing has disabled the Auto-Crash feature on the new 737… Read More ›

• Carter Announces 2020 Presidential Bid

  By personcalledryan on March 9, 2019 • ( 0 )

  

  PLAINS, GA – Ending months of speculation, former Georgia Governor and 39th President of the United States Jimmy Carter has announced that he will seek the democratic nomination for the 2020 presidential race. Speaking in front of a crowd of… Read More ›

• California Moves Democratic Primary to Next Tuesday

  By personcalledryan on March 7, 2019 • ( 0 )

  

  SACRAMENTO, CA – In a move that has stunned the political world, California has moved its democratic primary to Tuesday, March 12, 2019 making it the first-in-the-nation primary for the democratic party. With 475 pledged delegates at stake, the winner… Read More ›