Author Archives

Satirist, Filmmaker, Person

• Biden Creates Facebook Page Ahead of Presidential Announcement

  By personcalledryan on March 6, 2019 • ( 0 )

  

  WILMINGTON, DE – In an effort to appeal to younger voters, former Vice-President and potential 2020 democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden has created a Facebook page. Joe Biden’s decision to enter the social media world came at the advice of… Read More ›

• Ruth Bader Ginsburg Joins Professional Hockey Team

  By personcalledryan on March 6, 2019 • ( 0 )

  

  WASHINGTON, DC – Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg has scored a new gig as the newest left wing of the Hershey Bears Hockey Team. “I’ve always had a passion for ice skating, and this really gives me the opportunity… Read More ›

• United Healthcare CEO to Host Sanders Fundraiser

  By personcalledryan on March 5, 2019 • ( 0 )

  

  MINNEAPOLIS, MN – United Healthcare CEO Dave Wichmann will host a fundraiser for Democratic presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders at his home in Edena, Minnesota, BeetPress has learned. Tickets to this extravagant event, catered by St. Genevieve and Tilia head chef… Read More ›

• No One Shows Up to Bernie Sanders Rally

  By personcalledryan on March 3, 2019 • ( 2 )

  

  BROOKLYN, NY – It appears that The Bern has gotten a heavy dose of aloe.  The Bernie Sanders 2020 campaign is scratching it’s head after only six people attended a campaign kickoff rally for the presidential hopeful at Brooklyn College… Read More ›

• Ex-Clinton Staffers Slam Sanders Over Covered Wagon

  By personcalledryan on February 25, 2019 • ( 0 )

  

  NEW YORK – In his campaign video, released last week, Vermont senator and presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders singled out greenhouse gas emissions as a special interest that he would take on. But in the final months of the 2016 campaign,… Read More ›

• Trump Refuses to Back Down Despite International Pressure

  By personcalledryan on February 12, 2019 • ( 0 )

  

  WASHINGTON, DC – International pressure is mounting for United States President Donald Trump to step down and cede power to Opposition Leader Nancy Pelosi as tensions rise within Washington. The desperate situation is worsening by the day as Mr. Trump… Read More ›

• The Triumphant Return of Chris Farley

  By personcalledryan on February 11, 2019 • ( 0 )

  

  CHICAGO – Funnyman Chris Farley, best known for his celebrity impressions including Jerry Garcia, Tom Arnold, and Dom DeLuise on the long-running NBC variety show Saturday Night Live, has returned from a 21-year absence from the public. “I had a revelation… Read More ›