Elon Musk pledges to buy the Delaware Court of Chancery

GEORGETOWN, DE – Citing his displeasure with the Court’s decision to hear a lawsuit filed by the social media giant Twitter to force him to honor a purchase agreement made in April, Elon Musk has entered a $44 billion deal to purchase the Delaware Court of Chancery from the state. “I believe that that the Court [of Chancery] has limitless potential, but is being bogged down by narrow minded judges and frivolous lawsuits such as that between Twitter, which is a bot-ridden wasteland, and X holdings. I just want to clean up some inefficiencies with the Court, make settlements payable with Doge, and turn it into the Supreme Court of Mars by the end of 2022, first quarter of 2023 at the latest. It’s a no-brainer.” The deal was unanimously approved by the Court’s judicial officers, binding Musk to the purchase while fans of the billionaire have lauded the move as visionary. As of press time, Beet Press has confirmed that Elon Musk is attempting to back out of the deal citing the Court’s continued insistence of following through with the Twitter lawsuit against him.

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