Political Briefs

Pelosi Recommends Ice Cream to Fill Baby Formula Gap

WASHINGTON, DC – House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has suggested that mothers unable to purchase baby formula consider feeding their infants ice cream as a temporary measure until the United States supply of formula stabilizes. “When you look at the ingredients – milk, protein, carbohydrates, healthy fats – there’s not a whole lot of difference between Häagen-Dazs and Similac,” explained Pelosi. Since March, availability of baby formula has dwindled due to regulatory and supply-chain issues, raising concern among lawmakers and parents alike. “Let the babies eat ice cream,” added Pelosi. As of press time, Beet Press has confirmed that President Joe Biden agrees wholeheartedly with the Speaker, and has invoked the Defense Production Act to increase American ice cream output by 40%.

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