Political Briefs

Quiznos Pulls Out of Russia, Rest of the World

DENVER, CO – Submarine sandwich chain Quiznos announced Thursday that they are closing all Russian locations due to the ongoing conflict in Ukraine, as well as the rest of the roughly 490 locations worldwide. “We need to take a stand against Vladimir Putin’s brutal regime and not do business in Russia,” explained Quiznos CEO Tim Casey, adding “or the rest of the world due to supply chain issues, rising prices, and a complete lack of sales.” Once the second-largest sandwich chain in the world with over 4700 locations, the beleaguered Quiznos will shutter it’s remaining 250 domestic and 180 international locations, most of which are struggling to turn a profit. “We put a lot of time and energy building our Russian business. I hate to see it go, but it’s the right thing to do,” said Casey. “The same goes for all our other locations as well.” As of press time, Jersey Mike’s and Jimmy John’s are both reportedly preparing to enter the Russian market.

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