Political Briefs

Biden Mulls Sending Hillary Clinton to Kill Putin

WASHINGTON, DC – President Biden is considering sending former first lady and senator Hillary Clinton to Moscow to meet with Russian President Vladimir Putin and encourage him to cease aggressions against Ukraine by killing the Russian leader, sources close to the President told BeetPress. The information comes two weeks after Putin ordered Russian troops to invade the independent nation of Ukraine, a move that some fear could move Russia’s border closer to NATO countries and trigger an escalation of conflict between the two superpowers. According to sources close to the President, he was recently overheard telling a top aide that his intention is to have Clinton make Putin’s death look like a suicide, saying “things will be a lot brighter for us if Americans awoke to the news that Putin had hanged himself in the Kremlin. Do you think people would buy it?” A spokesperson for Clinton told BeetPress that the former Secretary of State is always happy to help however she can.

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