WASHINGTON, DC – Just hours after the end of the war in Afghanistan, the United States has set a new peacetime record marking the longest period of time the nation has gone […]
US Sets Record of Six Hours Without War
Elon Musk unveils robot that can satisfy your wife
PALO ALTO, CA – Tesla CEO Elon Musk has unveiled plans for a robot that can sexually satisfy your wife. According to Musk, Tesla will branch out from building electric, self-driving cars […]
Ted Cruz receives face transplant
HOUSTON, TX – Texas Senator Ted Cruz has undergone a successful face transplant procedure at Houston Methodist Hospital, according to sources close to the republican lawmaker. “It was getting to the point […]
Anthony Weiner announces NY governor bid in wake of Cuomo resignation
ALBANY, NY – In the wake of Anthony Cuomo’s resignation amid allegations of sexual misconduct, former New York congressman Anthony Weiner announced Wednesday that he will seek the gubernatorial seat vacated by […]
Buttigieg announces $160B plan to paint American streets with pride rainbows
WASHINGTON, DC – Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg has announced a $160 billion plan, part of the larger $1 trillion infrastructure bill, to paint every street in America with rainbows. “I can’t think […]
