Political Briefs

Democrats reach bipartisan deal to capitulate to Republican demands

WASHINGTON, DC – Senate Democrats have announced a bipartisan agreement to capitulate to Republican demands on a variety of issues including gun control, climate action, voting rights, and their centerpiece infrastructure bill. “If we want to pass meaningful legislation, such as the For the People Act, our voting rights bill, we’re going to have to make some compromises,” explained Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY). In exchange for Senate Republican support, democrats nixed restrictions on redistricting and campaign finance reform and added a key provision that only United States citizens with a National Rifle Association membership card be given a ballot. “Of course we’d love to pass sweeping legislation to address the looming climate catastrophe, but without a bill for the President to sign, we’re back to square one,” said Schumer. According to sources, Democrats have added language to a series of bills which will open US National Parks to drilling, eliminate the minimum wage, and repeal the Affordable Care Act.

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