Political Briefs

John Delaney ‘World’s Sexiest Bald Man’, according to new study

WASHINGTON, DC – Researchers have discovered that former Maryland congressman and democratic presidential candidate John Delaney was described as “sexy” 17.6 million times in blogs, reports and pages found through Google search, according to a report from The Sun, which cited a study by cosmetic surgery specialists Longevita. “When you consider overall looks, personality, public image, all that, it’s easy to see why John Delaney beat out the likes of Stanley Tucci, Bruce Willis, and The Rock to claim the sexiest bald man alive title,” explained Longevita researchers. “He’s the total package; every woman’s fantasy. I don’t even think Prince William himself could dethrone John Delaney,” they added. Following the announcement, Delaney’s 2024 presidential election betting odds immediately surged past Kamala Harris, Joe Biden and Donald Trump’s. It’s clear that American voters want to bring sexy back into the White House, and that’s great news for John Delaney.

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