Political Briefs

Ted Cruz travels to Mexico for black market COVID-19 vaccines for uninsured TX residents

CANCUN, MEXICO – Texas Senator Ted Cruz has traveled to Cancun Mexico in order to secure a stockpile of black market COVID-19 vaccines to inoculate approximately 5 million uninsured Texans. “I couldn’t sit idly by while so many Texas residents are unable to get vaccinated due to lack of health insurance,” explained the senator. “Luckily I have a connection in Cancun who can supply me with 5 million doses, so that’s what I’m here to do. Also, I have a buddy down here who knows a guy who can get me at least 2 million tons of rock salt for Texas’s frozen roads, so really, I’m killing two birds with one stone down here.” Once news of Cruz’s selfless actions reached Texas residents, his approval rating immediately climbed to 90%.

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