Political Briefs

Marjorie Taylor Greene appointed GA Executioner to quell insatiable bloodlust

ATLANTA, GA – In what lawmakers say is a move to satisfy her insatiable desire to kill, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) has been appointed a Georgia State Executioner. “We figured it’s only a matter of time before Congresswoman Greene executes Nancy Pelosi and other members of democratic leadership,” said House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-CA). “I made a phone call to Governor Kemp and talked him into letting her be an official executioner.” In her role as executioner, Greene will personally administer a lethal dose of pentobarbital to one death row inmate per month. Greene had requested a position on a firing squad, a request Kemp denied. “We haven’t used a firing squad since colonial times,” said Kemp. “Hopefully lethally injecting and watching a condemned prisoner lurch and fade out of existence will be enough to prevent Marjorie Taylor Green from killing innocent lawmakers.”

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