Entertainment

Liberal media champing at the bit to publish ‘Trump: you’re fired’ headlines

NEW YORK, NY – Anticipating a swift defeat of President Donald Trump in Tuesday’s general election, liberal media figures and publications across the country are champing at the bit to publish the headline Trump: you’re fired!

“The irony is that ‘you’re fired’ is the famous catchphrase from Trump’s reality TV show The Apprentice,'” explained MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow. “It’s going to be rather amusing to use the same phrase right back at him. Hilarious, in fact. I can’t wait!”

Prior to the presidency, Trump hosted 14 seasons of the popular television series The Apprentice, where hopeful businesspeople or celebrities competed to win a position at Trump’s company or a donation to the charity of their choice. Each week, Trump would send the losing contestant home by sternly proclaiming “you’re fired” during the final board meeting.

“We’re excited about this election and what is certain to be a landslide victory for Joe Biden,” said Portland-based Willamette Week publisher Mark Zusman. “We’re so confident that I directed our graphics people to design next week’s cover with a big picture of a sad looking Trump and the words ‘you’re fired’ in big block letters. It’s going to be epic!”

Portland’s other alternative paper, Portland Mercury, is reportedly working on cover art depicting the President leaving the White House holding a pink slip, and the words ‘you’re fired’ emblazoned across the cover.

Newsweek has printed over two million special commemorative edition issues with a close-up photograph of Trump and the words “you’re fired” stylized like a rubber stamp on the cover. The issue will feature a detailed timeline and analysis of what editor-in-chief Nancy Cooper describes as Trump’s “absolute train-wreck of a presidency.”

CNN political commentator and The Point host Chris Cillizza is equally excited about ribbing Trump after the election, telling BeetPress “I’ve already recorded the opening segment of my post-election show The Point where I do my best Trump impression and say ‘Mr. President, you’re fired.’ It’s going to be my best episode yet!”

Even late night sketch comedy show Saturday Night Live is planning their post-election episode. “We’re working on a clever little sketch that is basically like the Apprentice, but Alec Baldwin, playing Trump, is in the hot seat. Nancy Pelosi, Joe Biden, Kamala, and Chuck Schumer are on the board,” explained head writer Colin Jost. “I don’t want to give too much away, but it ends with everyone in the studio shouting ‘you’re fired’ at the same time. Then we pop bottles of Champagne and everything goes back to normal.”

When reached for comment, President Trump told BeetPress “listen, I own the copyright, I own the ‘you’re fired’ copyright, so whatever happens, and I’m probably going to win, the polls are looking very good right now, but either way, if they want to say ‘you’re fired,’ I’ll file lawsuits, and they’ll owe me a lot of money.”

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