War criminal delivers touching tribute to John Lewis

WASHINGTON, DC – War criminal and former president George W. Bush delivered a touching tribute to civil rights activist and Congressman John Lewis at his funeral on Thursday.

“John Lewis believed in the Lord, he believed in humanity and he believed in America,” said Bush, whose administration provided false and misleading information to congress and the American people regarding the development of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq as justification to launch a full-scale invasion that resulted in the deaths of 4,825 American and coalition service-members.

Bush, who orchestrated a campaign of shock and awe across the small and militarily inferior country of Iraq which killed hundreds of thousands of civilians, said of the fallen civil rights icon, “He’s been called an American saint, a believer willing to give up everything, even life itself, to bear witness to the truth that drove him all his life: that we could build a world of peace and justice, harmony and dignity and love.”

Journalists and public figures across the nation are offering high praise for Bush who, during his first term in office, directed the CIA to establish network of secret torture facilities across the globe in an extraordinary rendition and detention program involving the abduction and extrajudicial transfer of persons from one country to another with the purpose of circumventing laws on interrogation, detention, and torture.

“President George W. Bush just delivered a truly special speech. He deserved the standing ovation he received,” said Washington Post journalist and MSNBC contributor Jonathan Capehart of the former president who came under fire in 2004 after photographs were released showing American soldiers committing human rights abuses, including torture and sexual abuse, against Iraqi prisoners.

Conservatives and liberals alike are lavishing praise upon Bush, whose wars in Iraq and Afghanistan destabilized the Middle East leading to the rise of the extremist organization ISIS, and who, in 2012, was found guilty of crimes against peace by the Kuala Lumpur War Crimes Commission, including Jennifer Hower, a Denver area accountant who said “Although we disagree on a lot, seeing President Bush speak so eloquently makes me miss the days when our president wan’t an orange Cheeto.”

As of press time, BeetPress has confirmed that Ellen, the Tonight Show, and the Late Show with Stephen Colbert have invited Bush on their programs to talk about presumably something other than the enhanced interrogation tactics employed at the Guantanamo Bay detention camp.

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