Politics

Biden forgets where he put political platform

ST LOUIS, MO – While getting ready in his hotel room prior to a campaign event in St. Louis on Saturday, former vice president and democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden suddenly realized he had forgotten where he put his political platform.

“Jill, have you seen it? Have you seen my platform,” Biden asked his wife while looking through the drawers of the nightstand. “I coulda sworn I left it on the nightstand. Here, help me look.”

Biden’s political platform, which contains his agenda for his first four years as president should he win the election, is rumored to contain key points including preserving Obamacare.

“I don’t ever remember seeing your platform, Joe, are you sure you have one?” asked Jill.

“Of course I have one, c’mon, it’s got all my positions listed,” responded Biden, adding “like preserving Obamacare, and restoring the dignity of our of, of, you know, the thing we all live in.”

“America, Joe?”

Biden’s misplacement of his political platform comes just days after he forgot to campaign in any Super Tuesday primary states, seriously jeopardizing his chances at winning the nomination.

“I gotta tell you, it’s a good thing that Amy [Klobuchar] and that mayor [Pete Buttigieg] both dropped out and endorsed me at the last minute like that, just out of the blue, it really saved my hide,” Biden told BeetPress after the primaries, in which he won Minnesota in a stunning upset.

As of press time, BeetPress confirmed that after checking through his briefcase once more and looking under the bed, Biden briefly contemplated borrowing Klobuchar’s platform, but decided that he would instead take a quick nap and just ‘wing’ his six-and-a-half minute campaign speech.

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