Politics

Bloomberg offers Pete Buttigieg $2.5 million to drop out, endorse him

NEW YORK, NY – According to sources within the Bloomberg campaign, former New York mayor and presidential candidate Mike Bloomberg has offered Pete Buttigieg $2.5 million to drop out of the race and endorse him.

“We’re actively seeking solutions to the obstacles standing between Mayor Bloomberg and the democratic nomination,” said Bloomberg campaign spokesman Kevin Sheekey, adding “and we’ve been in negotiations with all of the democratic candidates to determine figures amicable to both parties in order to eliminate any potential roadblocks heading into the convention.”

While the campaigns of Warren, Klobuchar, and Biden have yet to reach deals with Bloomberg, Pete Buttigieg has reportedly agreed to a $2.5 million cash payment in exchange for ending his presidential bid and committing to no less than 10 joint campaign appearances with Bloomberg.

“Quite frankly, I’m surprised Mayor Pete agreed to such a low-ball figure,” Buttigieg communications director Lis Smith told BeetPress. “I understand his net worth is pretty small and it may seem like a lot of money, but he’s built up significant political capital over the course of this election. I would have expected him counter with five, maybe $10 million, but in the end, it’s his choice to make. We’re excited about Mayor Bloomberg’s bold vision for America.”

The Bloomberg campaign also reached out to the Bernie Sanders campaign with an 8-figure offer, but according to sources, received a response back from campaign advisor Jeff Weaver stating “You can take your [redacted] millions and shove them [redacted] you [redacted] oligarch [redacted].”

According to Sheekey, Bloomberg’s campaign is made up of millions of paid-volunteers, compensated grass roots supporters and surrogates, and uncompensated inmate phone bankers. They hope that by acquiring the endorsements of Buttigieg, Warren, Biden, and Klobuchar, they will receive enough support to defeat Bernie Sanders and his army of internet trolls.

“Mike Bloomberg has used his influence to land Andrew Yang a talking head position on CNN to speak positively about him in exchange for a Tesla Cybertruck and a $1000-a-month payment for life,” said Sheekey, adding “and we are looking at several options in which to neutralize Sanders, even if he refuses to give in to the cash offers. Mike is even willing to purchase delegates directly in order to circumvent the nomination process if that’s what it takes. Everyone has a price remember, and Bloomberg’s budget is limitless.”

As of press time, BeetPress has confirmed that former vice president Joe Biden has accepted a drop-out deal that includes a $5 million payment and a fully restored 1966 Pontiac GTO.

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