Nation’s rats: stop associating us with Buttigieg

NEW YORK, NY – The Rodent Committee of New York (RCNY) issued a press release Saturday requesting that American humans stop comparing former South Bend mayor and presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg to rats.

“We understand the proclivity to associate the nation’s rats with Mr. Buttigieg, but please understand that he is not one of us, nor do we wish to be associated with him in any way, shape, or form,” read the press release, which continued, “rats of America serve many vitally important roles in society ranging from medical and pharmaceutical research to being cuddly pets, and so we are kindly asking Americans to stop demeaning our importance with that weasel Pete Buttigieg.”

Following the Iowa Democratic Caucuses, in which Buttigieg won with a slight edge of State Delegate Equivalents over Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders, people have been using a rat emoji to describe the candidate on social media and sharing photoshopped images of Buttigieg giving him rat-like appearances.

“When you consider that Mayo Pete [sic] stopped the Des Moines Register poll moments before release, paid over 40k to the shadow app that botched the caucuses, smugly declared victory with literally 0% votes reported, and is politically connected to several dark money groups running negative ads against Bernie, it’s clear that Mayor Pete is a rat,” said one Twitter user, adding “he even looks like a rat.”

“I know many people associate rats with squalor and filth, but that’s just not a fair assessment of the rat population,” said a representative from RCNY. “It pains me when people post that video of a rat dragging a pizza slice down the stairs in response to something Buttigieg posts on Twitter because that particular rat is a very skilled performance artist making a very real and valid statement about poverty and food insecurity – issues that Pete Buttigieg cares little about. Rats deserve better, and America deserves better.”

The press release concluded by listing a set of recommendations for emoji better suited to describe Buttigieg including a skunk, a snail, a weasel, and a squirrel stating “squirrels are useless creatures and therefore fair game.”

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