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DNC appoints Pete Buttigieg to manage primaries, caucuses

WASHINGTON, DC – The Democratic National Committee has appointed former South Bend, IN mayor and presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg to manage all subsequent 2020 democratic primaries and caucuses.

“After the little mishap we had in Iowa, we saw the need to have someone in charge of making sure that the remaining primaries went smoothly,” said DNC chair Tom Perez, adding “and seeing as Mr. Buttigieg went to Harvard and is smart, we thought he’d be best able to take control of the situation and ensure fair and transparent races moving forward.”

Sources close to the DNC have confirmed that Buttigieg has enlisted the help of McKinsey & Company analysts to create an app that voters can download in order to vote.

“We’re excited to announce the iVote app, where democrats can vote for the candidate of their choice from the comfort of their own living rooms,” Buttigieg told BeetPress. “This will streamline the voting process and quickly and accurately upload the data to DNC servers where the results will undergo a quick quality control process before being sent to mainstream news outlets.”

According to the DNC, the iVote app will be available for download from Apple and Google at least three days prior to the New Hampshire primary. Voters without a smartphone will be able to call in their vote to 1-800-Vote-Now, and a paid Buttigieg campaign staffer will write down their candidate preference and forward that information to the DNC.

“When we lead with our values, we win, and we have every confidence in Mr. Buttigieg to ensure free and fair elections this primary season. Our biggest worry after the 2016 primary is perceived bias, and Mr. Buttigieg will put those concerns to rest. I think his app is a real winner,” said Perez. “Nothing can go wrong!”

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