Biden Best Positioned to Win Primary, Lose General Election

WILMINGTON, DE – Citing polling data from early voting states, establishment news outlets and democratic party insiders are making the case that former Vice President Joe Biden is best positioned to win the democratic nomination and go on to be defeated by President Donald Trump in the general election.

According to columnist Froma Harrop, who spent Friday explaining to Sanders supporters that everyone likes Biden more, new polling data from South Carolina, Nevada, and Wisconsin indicate strong support for the former vice president who is leading in those states by 17, 6, and 2 points respectively.

“When you consider that Biden is in a similar position poll-wise as John Kerry and Hillary Clinton were at this point in their respective primaries, it’s evident that Joe Biden is the best choice to win the democratic primary,” said Harrop, adding “and then lose to incumbent president Donald Trump in the general.”

“Our best hope of losing in November is with Biden,” said Center for American Progress President Neera Tanden, who explained “We can’t have a repeat of 2008, when the insurgent candidate Barack Obama came from behind to capture the nomination and then went on to win the presidency. Let’s not forget Obama nearly ruined the party.”

Democratic insiders admit that their best chance of electoral defeat lies with a candidate with decades of baggage to be exploited by the Republican Party.

“The main problem with Bernie Sanders, as was the case with Obama, is that the Republicans will call him a socialist, and that’s not a very effective smear anymore,” explained DNC Chair Tom Perez. “Now, when you have someone you can swiftboat like John Kerry, someone under active investigation like Hillary, or a candidate like Joe Biden with decades of political missteps under his belt, that’s when we really lose – and lose big!”

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi worries that if Sanders wins the democratic nomination, he’ll ride a wave of populism into the White House, easily defeating Donald Trump, and forcing the party to adopt policies that benefit everyday Americans over the corporate interests that feed the democratic political machine.

“Democrats raise a lot of money having someone like Trump in the White House,” said Pelosi, adding “and the chaos created by the Trump administration distracts voters from seeing that we’re working at the behest of the oil industry, big pharma, and the military industrial complex. I trust voters will make the right decision and nominate Joe Biden.”

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