WASHINGTON, DC – In an effort to not alienate voters, the democratic party has chosen a queer black middle-aged woman to seek the nomination for president. With such a diverse selection of candidates, voters are faced with a unique challenge…. Read More ›
The 2020 election cycle is well underway, and many candidates have weighed in on a variety of topics. BeetPress will be visiting these topics to see where the candidates stand on the issues Americans care most about. For many Americans,… Read More ›
PHILADELPHIA, PA – During a recent campaign strategy meeting, presidential candidate and former vice president Joe Biden was surprised to find that he is still the frontrunner, leading in all national polls. “Aggregate data shows polling is up four point… Read More ›
NEW YORK, NY – Statistician and fivethirtyeight.com editor Nate Silver spent the bulk of Saturday evening masturbating to the latest DMR/Selzer polling data out of Iowa. “I had a date with some friends for drinks, but when data comes out… Read More ›
BOSTON, MA – Democratic presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren has entered an inpatient rehabilitation facility to receive treatment for alcoholism after grabbing drinks with over 4000 supporters, sources close to the campaign have confirmed. Warren voluntarily checked into the Serenity at… Read More ›
FALLS CHURCH, VA – As the soft light of morning shone through the window and lapped across the face of Chris Cillizza, the CNN political commentator was disappointed to come to the realization that Bernie Sanders does in fact exist,… Read More ›
WASHINGTON, DC – The Democratic National Committee has announced the creation of a super-duper-delegate to deploy in the event second-ballot voting doesn’t select a nominee during a brokered convention. After calls for reform by progressives following the 2016 democratic primaries,… Read More ›
