PHILADELPHIA, PA – During a recent campaign strategy meeting, presidential candidate and former vice president Joe Biden was surprised to find that he is still the frontrunner, leading in all national polls. “Aggregate data shows polling is up four point… Read More ›
NEW YORK, NY – Statistician and fivethirtyeight.com editor Nate Silver spent the bulk of Saturday evening masturbating to the latest DMR/Selzer polling data out of Iowa. “I had a date with some friends for drinks, but when data comes out… Read More ›
BOSTON, MA – Democratic presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren has entered an inpatient rehabilitation facility to receive treatment for alcoholism after grabbing drinks with over 4000 supporters, sources close to the campaign have confirmed. Warren voluntarily checked into the Serenity at… Read More ›
FALLS CHURCH, VA – As the soft light of morning shone through the window and lapped across the face of Chris Cillizza, the CNN political commentator was disappointed to come to the realization that Bernie Sanders does in fact exist,… Read More ›
WASHINGTON, DC – The Democratic National Committee has announced the creation of a super-duper-delegate to deploy in the event second-ballot voting doesn’t select a nominee during a brokered convention. After calls for reform by progressives following the 2016 democratic primaries,… Read More ›
BOSTON, MA – Sources close to the presidential candidate have reported that Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren is concerned that genomics and biotechnology company 23andMe has recently released a political ideology test. Warren, who has been steadily rising in national polling,… Read More ›
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Nearly three years into Trump’s presidency, liberals across America are longing for the days of yore, when Barack Obama was president, and the biggest concern facing most people was getting a brunch table at a trendy… Read More ›
