Biden Found in Bathrobe Giving Campaign Speech at Bus Stop

WASHINGTON, DC – In what Biden aides are referring to as an ill-timed event, Joe Biden was found in his bathrobe Saturday, giving his campaign speech to a group of surprised onlookers at a bus stop.

“Thanks so much for coming out,” said the befuddled Biden using a trash receptacle as a makeshift podium. “Whether the crowd is ten or ten thousands, I’m here to convince you to vote for me! This is an election we can’t afford to lose!”

“I’m still going to vote for Joe,” said Marie Tillman, of Dover Delaware.  “He reminds me of my grandfather in his final years.”

Biden’s fiery rhetoric energized and confused the waiting passengers.  As they began to board the bus, Biden’s hand brushed against the trash.  He got a Milky Way wrapper stuck to it, undermining his points.

“I was trying to listen to his proposal for immigration reform, but then that wrapper.  When he wiped off his forehead, it got stuck to his head. I had to laugh,” said John Stevens of Wilmington, shaking his head in amusement. “That’s gaffe-prone, Joe!”

Biden’s speech continued even after the passengers had left on the bus.  For several minutes, passersby noted him with curiosity. He ended the speech with the phrase, “Sleepy time now” and promptly laid down on the bus stop bench to take a nap, when soon after, aides found him snoozing soundly.

“Vice President Biden will not be taking questions at this time,” said one of the campaign staff, who ushered him toward a waiting van.

“Why are these shoppers in my bedroom?” asked a confused Biden, noting the people on the street.  “Is it Christmas time?”

“No, sir,” replied one of the aides, as she pulled the Milky Way wrapper off his face. “We need to get you back home.”

“Sleepy time now?” asked the Vice President expectantly.

“When we get home, sir,” assured the aide.

“All right!” said the excited Biden.  “Joe love sleepy time!”

The Biden campaign released a statement shortly after the Vice President was ushered away.  It read in part: “Vice President Biden’s spontaneous speech is part of his grass roots effort to connect with everyday people.  His robe and slippers are a symbol of an America that’s been asleep for too long.”  

© 2019 – Tony DiGerolamo

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