Concerned Citizens Mobilize to Save Amazon

SEATLLE, WA – Upon hearing the news that Amazon founder and CEO Jeff Bezos lost $3.4 Billion in net worth as the stock market plunged last week, concerned citizens have mobilized to save the beleaguered corporation, with many distressing over the company burning through cash at an unprecedented rate.

“When I heard how much Amazon lost, I was floored,” said Noah Ashbury of Spokane, Washington, asking “it really makes you think, you know, what would the world be like without Amazon?”

Analysts worry that a prolonged recession could have widespread negative consequences for the company, which is responsible for nearly 50% of all online commerce, but warn investors that they should see the forest for the trees, pointing out that Amazon is a large, diverse company and any negative effects experienced in one sector will be balanced by other sectors.

Regardless, industry experts are concerned including Wired business editor Scott Thurm who said “Amazon Fire was a game changer, and it’d be a real tragedy if they weren’t able to continue innovating news ways to stream content, so it’s encouraging to see that everyday people have taken an active interest in the success of Amazon because their lives are at stake too.”

Many have admitted taking Amazon for granted, including Jennifer Hornsleth, who told BeetPress “I didn’t realize Amazon was in trouble, but I’m glad people are sounding the alarm. I always assumed it would always be there whenever I needed printer cartridges, books, or a low-cost air purifier.”

Across Twitter, concerned users have adopted the hashtag #SaveAmazon to encourage people to subscribe to Amazon Prime, stream original content, and open their wallets to the cause. A tweet from @Werner [Amazon CTO Werner Vogels] reading “The clear cut answer to saving Amazon is to spend, spend, spend #SaveAmazon” has generated over 25,000 retweets since Monday.

With so much concern for Amazon spreading throughout the world, economist Paul Krugman is confident that Amazon will remain intact, saying “when something negative begins affecting people directly, folks take action, and that’s what we’re beginning to see with Amazon. But they’re a huge company and I think they’re well positioned to remain the industry leader for the long haul.”



Categories: Business, Satire

Tags: , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: