Kamala Harris Has Tulsi Gabbard Arrested

DETROIT, MI – Following the 2nd democratic debates in Detroit on Wednesday, democratic candidate Tulsi Gabbard was arrested outside of the Fox Theater for ‘personal assault’ against fellow candidate Kamala Harris.

During a press conference this morning outside of the Frank Murphy Hall of Justice, Wayne County prosecutor Kym Worthy told reporters “Mrs. Gabbard committed egregious and indefensible offenses last night against my friend Kamala Harris. Among the charges being levied against the congresswoman are repeatedly pummeling Mrs. Harris on her record, violently destroying her credibility as prosecutor, and savagely bludgeoning her over her record on incarceration.”

A statement from Harris’s lawyer read in part “Tulsi Gabbard has irreparably bruised Mrs. Harris’s reputation and inflicted permanent damage on her campaign for President, and we’re currently looking into allegations that Mrs. Gabbard is working directly with the Russian government in order to destroy the noble and valiant campaign of Mrs. Harris. The Hawaii congresswoman is polling at 1% and has simply kneecapped the senator in order to improve her standing in the race.”

A representative from Gabbard’s campaign told BeetPress that the charges are baseless, adding “this is just a futile attempt by Mrs. Harris to exert her power over the congresswoman and use her influence to take out opponents that she sees threatening. It wouldn’t surprise me if [Elizabeth] Warren was locked up next.”

Supporters of Gabbard have taken to Twitter using the hashtag #KamalaHarrisDestroyed in a show of solidarity toward Gabbard. Critics have pointed to rumors that Tulsi Gabbard has a crush on Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad and is jealous because al-Assad sent Harris a Valentine’s Day card and not her.

As of press time Tulsi Gabbard had sent an email to her followers asking them to make a contribution toward bailing her out of jail.

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Categories: Politics, Satire

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5 replies

  1. Just shows that Kat?mala Harris is just like Trump. Who would want her as President.

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