BURLINGTON, VT – The Bernie Sanders campaign has released a comprehensive plan to erase overdue library fines for over 25 million Americans. “In the United States of America, your financial life and […]
Sanders Releases Plan to Erase Library Debt
DoD to Allow Trump One Nuke Against Dorian
ARLINGTON, VA – The Department of Defense has reportedly allowed President Donald Trump the use of one nuclear weapon against Hurricane Dorian, a controversial move intended to satiate the President and get […]
Dem Candidate Promises $1000/month if You Vote for Him, Nothing if You Don’t.
NEW YORK, NY – Democratic candidate and entrepreneur Andrew Yang has promised, if elected president, he will provide each American aged 18 – 64 a universal basic income (UBI) of $1000 per […]
Delaney Wows 20,000-plus Crowd
MINNEAPOLIS, MN – Just three weeks ago, pundits had counted John Delaney out – he was attracting small crowds, polling in the low single digits, and seemingly unable to gain traction in […]
San Francisco Airport Bans Single Use Toilet Paper
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – “We need to save the environment,” says the airport instructional video. “Even if it’s only one square at a time.” San Francisco International Airport (SFO) has instituted the […]
Pete Buttigieg Vows to Restore White House Hardwood Floors in First Term
SOUTH BEND, IN – As the campaign season drags on, candidates are spreading across the country outlining their plans for healthcare, climate change, and gun control, but South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg […]
DNC Planning to Nominate Reanimated Hubert Humphrey for 2020 Run
WASHINGTON, DC – With the party struggling to find a standard bearer to represent democrats in the presidential race against Donald Trump in 2020, party insiders are floating the idea of elevating […]
Political Activist Actually Just Sad, Bitter Little Man
NEW YORK, NY – For many political enthusiasts, having your favored candidate lose an election can be a difficult experience, but for Dan Week, Hillary Clinton’s 2016 loss against Donald Trump was […]
Biden Found in Bathrobe Giving Campaign Speech at Bus Stop
WASHINGTON, DC – In what Biden aides are referring to as an ill-timed event, Joe Biden was found in his bathrobe Saturday, giving his campaign speech to a group of surprised onlookers […]
Sanders Mourns Loss of 2nd Favorite Nemesis
NEW YORK, NY – Upon hearing the news of billionaire David Koch’s passing at age 79, Bernie Sanders bowed his head in quiet reflection of the thousands of times he had invoked […]
