Socialism Unpopular, According to Trump-Funded Poll

WASHINGTON, DC – According to a recent poll, socialism is unpopular, with fewer than two respondents having a favorable opinion of the left-wing ideology.

The results of the Official Socialism Approval Poll, paid for by the Trump Make America Great Again Committee, a joint fundraising committee authorized by and composed of Donald J. Trump for President, Inc. and the Republican National Committee, shows overwhelming support for a thriving capitalist economy as opposed to a radical socialist economy.

When asked who has a better vision for America’s future, Donald Trump or Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, respondents chose Trump 50 to 1, and when pressed on the issue of taxes being raised to fund welfare programs for illegal immigrants, over 98% chose ‘no’. The poll then implored respondents to donate between $25 and $2800 to the Trump campaign.

“I took the poll, and I had no idea people had such an unfavorable view of democratic socialism,” said Brett Parker, and University of Iowa student and admitted Bernie Sanders supporter, adding “I guess I’m going to have to reevaluate if Medicare for All, living wages, and ending the wars are really what’s best for America.”

Another respondent, Trump supporter Ronald Dubois, told BeetPress that the results were as expected, saying “those libturds like Andrea Ocasia-Cortez [sic] and Joe Biden want to turn this country into Venezuela with constant blackouts, starvation, and zero freedoms, and real Americans won’t stand for it. They should all be locked up.”

“These results are pretty much in line with my own modeling,” reported ABC News Numbers Analyst Nate Silver, who continued “it shows that Americans don’t want Medicare for All, instead favoring a system that keeps the for-profit insurance industry intact while adding a costly and ineffective ‘public option’ that will still keep 10 million people without insurance.”

The poll was conducted July 19 – July 26 and has a margin of error of +/- 80%.

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