Biden Announces ‘Win a Kiss from Joe’ Contest

PHILADELPHIA, PA – The Biden for President Campaign has announced a contest in which one lucky winner will have the opportunity to meet and kiss the presidential candidate after a campaign rally.

According to his campaign website, one lucky recipient will be chosen at random to attend a campaign rally of their choosing, complete with VIP tickets and a three-minute meet-and-greet following the event, where they will be treated to a neck and/or shoulder massage of no less than 30 seconds and no more than 90 seconds while Biden discusses healthcare policy, and a closed mouth kiss lasting no less than one second and no more than three seconds.

Per campaign rules, a donation to the campaign is not required and will not improve chances of winning. The contest is open to all females between ages 13 and 49.

“If you’re an admirer of the former Vice President, and a moderately attractive female, this is your chance to get up close and personal with Joe,” explained Biden for President Communications Director Kate Bedingfield.

“Contests are pretty commonplace in presidential campaigns and they’re a great way to get those individual donations rolling in,” said CNN Political Commentator Chris Cillizza, adding “and this Win a Kiss from Joe contest is especially exciting. I just wish that I was eligible to enter. What a great prize!”

The contest is open until July 25th and a lucky winner will be announced no later than July 28th.

If you enjoyed this article, please consider supporting us on Patreon

Advertisements


Categories: Politics, Satire

Tags: , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: